“I can’t be me without her freaking out on me,” my client Tim said to me.

Wow, I thought, that sounds tough and I felt like that once upon a time.

Does your partner ever freak out on you?

Maybe you said one thing and she misinterpreted it to mean something else. Or you tried to do something you thought was kind and then she called you “selfish.”

It can leave a guy feeling like he has to walk on eggshells around his partner. And over time, he often wonders, What can I do to not have her freak out?

That was Tim’s deal. He was just trying to help out his wife — a good guy on her team.

You see, his wife’s mom was sick, which meant a lot of stress on her. So trying to give his wife a break, Tim suggested taking the kids away for the weekend.

And BAM! She got super upset, accusing him of being inconsiderate and bailing on her.

“I was just trying to help,” he said.

Have you ever had something well-intentioned backfire with your partner?

You’re trying to do good and she attacks you for it. And afterwards, you’re totally confused, wondering — What did I do that was such a big deal?

Like many guys, Tim felt that classic damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

He felt like he was at the mercy of his partner’s emotions. And he’d built a dynamic with her where he’d do anything to “fix” her tantrums.

But trying to calm her down and saying “Honey, it’s ok,” he was met with even more emotion.

What if instead you could redirect your partner’s heightened reactions to a better outcome? 

I know, it sounds super simple. But it’s not rocket science either.

With my coaching, Tim tried out a simple tool that was so powerful that he was never at the mercy of his wife’s emotions again. And it benefitted her as well.

Check out how he did it, and you can too, in the video below.

What if you said no to your partner’s freak outs?

For a lot of guys, that might be even scarier. Then, she’d triple freak out on me, they might say.

I get it. It’s a risky proposition. But it’s a much riskier proposition to spend years on end in a dynamic that’s got you feeling victimized by your partner’s emotions.

That’s no way to live. Enough is enough.

That’s what Tim was thinking when we started talking. And in a short time of working together, he moved into action to make real change in his marriage.

Even better, he got a lot more respect and appreciation from his wife.

Don’t end up a the guy whose son said to him, “Dad, when are you going to get your balls back from mom?”

If you’re feeling at the mercy of your partner’s emotions, you can do it differently. And that starts with a simple conversation.

Learn more on our next “Men’s Relationship Tools” call Tuesday at 9am mtn time, where men go after what they want in relationship.

Not comfortable joining a call? Shoot me a quick email.  A simple first step to stop being at the mercy of your partner’s emotions.