My client Robert tells me about how his wife dislikes him spending time with a close family member of his.

This is someone super important to him, who he really wants to see more often.

Does your partner ever object to who you spend time with?

Robert goes on for a bit about the details of the situation. He’s a bit exasperated, naturally so. It’s not like this family member’s a derelict or anything.

Still, his wife doesn’t like him spending time with this person.

Robert goes on for a while, telling me what he really needs to tell his wife.

Eventually I say, “All right, I’m gonna stop you there. Unless you have something else that’s critical, I got the gist.”

I pause him because I want to get him to the high-level view quickly, to the heart of his underlying behavioral pattern, which is to simply to assert what he wants with his wife

Do you struggle to speak up for yourself with your partner?

As a professional men’s coach, I spend many hours each week doing, helping guys get unstuck in their relationship.

And to get Robert results, I won’t spend too much time glossing over the details of his story. Instead, BAM! I zoom out and take him straight to the bigger picture.

And for him, that is learning to advocate for himself in the face of his fear of causing a shit storm with his wife, which has been his pattern in the past.

Do you wish you could be more productive in your interactions with your partner?

If so, chances are you’re a better fit for coaching than therapy.

You see, a therapist is typically going to prioritize hearing all the details of a client’s story. Client safety is a major concern and even a critical goal in therapy.

In coaching, at least how I coach, I want you to be safe but I even more so, I want you to become more resilient in the face of your challenges.

And most of all, I want to get you results in your relationship quickly.

Have you spent time sin therapy not knowing what to do with what you learned?

This was the case with another client of mine, Kevin.

About his years in therapy, he said, “It’s good info. But I don’t know WTF to do with it. Typically, I just put it in a box, stick under my bed, and forget about it.”

This is a story I see that is quite common for many men.

You see, men are generally more goal-oriented.

It’s through action that a man ultimately rewires old patterns that keep him stuck. Not by talking a lot and doing little.

Most men want to see clear payoffs when they work on their relationship. And to achieve that, it’s critical to get to a guy results quickly — to keep his mojo up to pursue what he wants with his partner.

This means offering a guy a direct path forward to achieve tangible “relationship wins.”

A win could be as simple as getting clarity and acting on what he wants with his partner, or expressing something difficult, to clear the air, without things blowing up on him.

Are you a better fit for coaching than therapy?

Check out the video below to see if that’s true for you, and to discover:

• A key distinction between coaching and therapy.
• How coaching is a better fit for most men.
• How good coaching gets a guy out of his story and into action.

Robert was stoked to get to the heart of the matter quickly on our call.

He didn’t want to swirl in his story but go after how to create change with his partner.

Are you that guy who wants to create change in your relationship?

If so, join my next confidential Men’s Relationship Tools zoom call on Tuesdays at 9am MST.

And if you can’t make it Tuesday, up your relationship game in my private mens-only Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.

P.S. For confidentiality reasons, the name Robert was used for my client.