New Years. Yeah, whatever. The older I get, the more “whatever” I can get with the new year and resolutions.

That is, until I am reminded that it’s a chance to consider how I can up my game in my life and relationship.

What would you like to create in your relationship in the new year? 

It’s not an easy question because if reminds us of what we don’t currently have with our partner. It can feel like a bummer.

So it’s natural to not ask the question and withdraw or check out from any ambitions in your relationship altogether.

Hell, maybe you’ve already put a bunch of work this past year trying to create what you want with your partner and it hasn’t worked.

It’s enough to put a guy into what I call a “conditional mindset.” Every effort he makes to improve his relationship then becomes conditional.

And so if he’s even still willing to consider working on his relationship, his head spins with questions like…

• What am I going to have to do?
• Will it work?
• How do I know it will work?
• What if my partner rejects my efforts?
• And of course, how much will it cost?

These are all reasonable questions but what often gets missed is that underneath is a scared man seeking to protect himself from failure.

His “failure mindset” becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

It’s a paradoxically safe orientation which makes him feel like he’s got everything to lose and nothing to gain when it comes to working on his relationship.

He says things like…

• I’ll do it if it will work.
• I’ll do it if it’s not too hard.
• I’ll do it if she’ll accept my efforts.
• I’ll do it if it doesn’t cost too much.

And so he puts as little skin in the game as possible to feel like he’s doing something without really doing much at all.

He watches a lot of relationship videos on YouTube, reads a few chapters of a relationship book, or works with a therapist based on his hourly rate vs his proven-track record of actual results.

It’s what I call a feel good, half-assed effort.

In all his efforts, what’s ultimately lacking is his willingness to show up 100%. To be fully committed to his relationship.

And trust me, your partner can smell that on you a mile away.

How committed are you to transform your relationship in 2022?

Without commitment, all the New Year’s resolutions and aspirations won’t produce a thing for your relationship.

The good news is that the power to create a kick-ass relationship lies within you.

SWAP out the conditional mindset for the committed mindset.

Check out this 3.5 minute video for a SWAP process that goes straight to the heart of what extinguishes most new year’s resolutions.

Make 2022 a year like none other. The year that you take charge of your relationship once and for all.

Anything less is a disservice to you, your partner, and your family.

Create what you want in your relationship in 2022. Check out The Men’s Relationship School for one month at half price during the next 7 days with the “checkitout” code.

And if you’re like many guys facing divorce in January, having gotten through the holidays, email me to learn more about a powerful group of 4 men transforming the crisis of divorce into the opportunity of a lifetime forever.