“My wife always has to be right.”

“She doesn’t respect my opinion.”

“My wife always gets the last word in.”

These are the exact words I heard from multiple men in the last few months.

If you can relate to any of these statements, it’s likely you’re with a strong-spoken woman.

Do you feel as if your wife has to win every argument?

If so, there’s a good chance that you’re with a strong-spoken woman.

In response, it’s common for a guy to go to the “be right” plan. That was true for all the men who spoke the words above.

The “be right” plan is the idea that if you’re right, then you’ll get what you want. If you can prove something, then you’re justified to get it.

“We always go to your parents for Christmas,” one of the men above said to his wife.

Then he made a point on why it would be a better idea to go to California to see his parents.

He thought if he could prove his point, then his wife would just get on board. But it didn’t work out that way. Instead, another argument ensued.

Do you struggle to get your point across to your partner?

Chances are she’s playing the same “be right” game as you.

Unfortunately, this leads to two rams locking horns.

After a while, a lot of guys say, “The hell with it, I don’t want to speak up anymore.”

So they go quiet. They suppress their wants and needs. They walk on eggshells. All in an attempt to avoid conflict.

These are all typical short-term tactics to reduce conflict but long-term they are muy mal, as in yes, very bad.

Do you suppress your opinions to deal with a strong-spoken woman?

If so, Stop It Now! Ok. I’m laughing. Yeah, right, like me saying that is going to change a thing.

I get it. These are deeper patterns. Patterns of a man who is conflict-averse.

Patterns of a guy who came from a home where conflict was not dealt with well, where conflict was a shit storm.

Do you fear conflict with your wife?

Of course, most guys would never admit that. That’s not muy macho.

Most men just want things to be chill, fluid, drama-free.

Over the years, I’ve heard countless men say, “Can’t she just chill? Why’s everything a big deal to her?”

But the problem is when you go quiet, suppress your opinions, or walk on eggshells, you’re exacerbating the problem.

You give her the sense that she needs to make all the decisions in the family. She gets the impression that you’re checked out.

Sounds like a double-bind. Damned if I speak up and damned if I don’t.

What if you could speak up in a way that did not cause more conflict?

If you’re this guy, consider these three steps.

1. Assume you have nothing to prove. You have no need to be right.

2. More than being right, ask to be heard, engaged, have your opinion known.

3. Return the favor to her. Listen, get curious, and engage her as well.

If these steps sound promising, check out the video below to learn more about how to show up strongly with a strong-spoken woman.

At the end of the day, your wife is strong-spoken because she wants to use her voice. She wants to feel like she’s in control.

And the conflict that often ensues for most couples is a power play for control.

Power plays between couples are a really bad attempt at two people trying to get safe, trying to find stable ground in this messy thing called relationship.

Once you understand that, you’ll realize you don’t have to be right or prove a point to be in the room with a strong-spoken woman.

Nor do you need to suppress your own voice to avoid conflict.

Instead, get curious, get engaged, and learn to get good at conflict.

Yes, you can be good at conflict. That means you navigate conflict well to build deeper trust on the other side.

It’s then that you can feel confident, strong, and powerful as a man in relationship.

Do you want to learn to be strong with a strong-spoken woman?

Start being a part of weekly conversations where you discover your confident, strong, and powerful self.

A you who can have opinions and be supported by other men doing the same.

Check out the Men’s Relationship School. Join your first call for free by replying now. Or just sign up for $47/month.

If you’re not a group guy and believe 1:1 coaching is a better fit for you, shoot me a quick email.

In a quick call, I’ll tell you if I can help you or where to get the right help.

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