Love ‘em or hate ‘em. The holidays are still coming.

Watching the game. Making the stuffing. Carving the turkey. Eating until we’re stuffed.

Black Friday. Preparing for Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Exchanging gifts. Being with loved ones.

Planning for New Year’s. The big night out or the big party. Resolutions, anyone?

It’s a time of social commitments, family gatherings, work parties. Lots of mingling.

And in the background, the deep freeze of winter hums. And during the longest nights of the year, we may even go dark on ourselves – in an effort to just try to get through it all.

But pause a minute.

Right now before it all starts, ask yourself:

• What do I really want from this time of year?
• Do I just want to get through it all?
• Or do I want something more?

Maybe there are a few people you really want to cherish, truly express gratitude. How might you do that? Through words, a card, a sharing of how you feel?

Or maybe showing up perfunctorily at Thanksgiving dinner is just fine. Tolerance is a virtue, is it not?

Maybe you want to expand love to others, get past your old resentments or functional ways.

What is the intention you bring to the holidays? Is it enough to just be grateful to be alive?

The holidays are a sort of birth canal. We get through it all and come out into the New Year. In a sense, we are all the Baby New Year.  Some of us come out, relieved, and others, saddened.

What if it was different this year? What if, instead, you brought conscious intention to it all? Do you have a story you need to challenge, of how things will be?

Consider the questions below.

• Will you buy gifts connected to your desire to give? Or a desire to check off tasks?
• Will New Year’s be meaningful or unconscious?

Now’s your chance before it all starts, to consider it.  It can be a tough time of year. Or a meaningful one. Ultimately, we decide.

This is self-relationship. Your true power.

Move into action and shoot me a quick email.

And if you’re more of a group guy, consider checking out the Men’s Relationship Tools where I am helping men step into action to enhance sex, passion, trust, and confidence in their relationship.