Jay, a high-earning manufacturing CEO, has daily challenges at work but nothing he can’t handle.

Yet at home with his wife, he’s exasperated, at his wit’s end.

“She expects me to read her mind. And when I don’t, she freaks on me,” he says. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.”

I listen, thinking there must be more to this.

“What was it you were supposed to read her mind about?” I ask.

Does your wife expect you to read her mind?

Jay pauses and then says, “I was supposed to schedule an extra trash pickup after we cleaned out the garage on Sunday.”

“And so what’d you do instead?” I ask.

“I just put out the trash as always.”

The subtext here is I’m a busy CEO who doesn’t have time for this shit.

“Did you agree to schedule the extra trash pickup?” I ask.

“I’m not sure. And so when she was upset with me, she wouldn’t tell me what it was about,” Jay says.

Does your wife withdraw from you when she’s upset?

Jay and I keep talking.

Eventually, he says, “Why does she make such a big deal over little stuff?”

Little stuff. I can relate. It can be the bane of our existence as guys.

Do you always have to get things right with your wife?

If so, let’s talk so you can get free of that dynamic.

And yet old furniture and trash sitting in front of the house for an extra week might not be so little to Jay’s wife.

“Jay,” I say, “Is it possible it’s not just about the trash?”

“Ok. What is it about then?” he says

“It’s about trust,” I say. “It’s about you paying attention to what you say you’ll do. Being a man of your word. Your wife being able to rely on you.”

He nods and frowns showing some resistance to what I’m saying.

“Do you forget things at work?” I ask.

“No. I can’t.”

“So you put more attention and focus on work than at home with your wife.”

“Apparently,” he concedes.

“As trivial as the trash is to you, your actions are telling her that she does not matter. You don’t need to read her mind when she’s upset.”

Do you struggle to read your wife’s mind?

Check out the video below for a tip on how to read your wife’s mind.

Do you really even have to read your wife’s mind?

Instead, act like you do at work. If you’re like Jay and you “can’t” forget things at work, then bring that mindset to your wife.

Act as if you “can’t” forget things with her. Show her she matters just as much as anything at work.

Her desire for you to read her mind is really just her way of saying, I want you to show me that I matter to you. I want you to remember what you say.

Do you want to stop having to read your wife’s mind?

Shoot me a quick email to jump on a 15 minute call and see how 1:1 coaching can benefit you.

Or join me at one of these two upcoming online trainings.

Men’s Relationship Tools weekly call on Tuesdays at 12pm ET, a couching roundtable for any man to get relationship support for only $47/month. Join anytime.