So I had an injury… a major injury… near death experience… near amputation experience… I broke an artery in my leg in a freak accident.

Recovery has been brutal.

35 days now and barely walking on crutches.  Days and days on end of sitting on my couch. Weeks of barely having enough energy to even answer an email.

Sure, I’ve had some progress. Most of the internal bleeding has drained from my leg. The hematoma keeps getting smaller and smaller. I can bend my knee more and more each day.

And there’s been lots of grief, lots of time alone, and lots of gratitude that I still have a leg, even if it looks like a chicken leg next to my massive over-used right leg.

Yes, atrophy has taken away a lot of power from me.

And while I just started physical therapy this week, something happened last night as I was working my leg.

Anger hit me hard.

Anger that my life had been hijacked.

Anger at losing my ability to walk, get places, do things.

Anger that I can’t go out on a Saturday night with friends

Anger at another summer weekend sitting around, leg elevated, on the couch.

I resisted the temptation to smash my fist into the wall.  I backed away from the temptation to toss my crutches through the window.

And then and there, I did something I didn’t know I could do.

I cranked an ace bandage above my knee, where the most pain is, and walked 300 steps and more, grunting like a caveman, back and forth in my living room and kitchen, without crutches for the first time since I got hurt.

It was as if I could do what I thought I couldn’t and needed to bottom out, in order to do it.

Wow! Anger has a lot of power when channelled.

So, what’s this have to do with relationships?

It has a lot to do with self-relationship, how you interact with you.

What are you channelling these days – anger, love, hate, apathy, excitement?

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