When a man’s marriage tanks, he asks himself questions like…

Can I continue to live like this?
How can things change?
What can I do about it?

And in this place, your options can feel limited. You can easily feel trapped and resigned.

Are you living out a life sentence in your marriage?

If you’ve ever felt this way, it’s easy to feel resignation. Resigned to fulfill your vow of ‘til death do us part.’

And yet instead of moving into action to make change, it’s common to just do nothing. But slogging through your days unhappy does not serve you, your family, or your wife.

I was married for 25 years and there were many days where I could say yes, this feels like a life sentence.

She won’t change. I can’t do this anymore. And I want out.

I didn’t feel like I had options. I got stuck in that place that I see many men stuck in.

That place of trying to do something but really doing nothing. That place of freeze.

While we often hear about fight or flight, we don’t hear much about freeze. Think of a deer in headlights.

Freeze can be a form of what many of us men were trained in. “Suck it up and deal. Make the best of it.”

When so much is on the line – family, finances, kids, it’s easy to punt on your own happiness as a man.

Do you sacrifice your own well-being to stay in your current marriage?

The problem with freeze, like fight or flight, is you’re in your limbic system.

This is the place where you can’t think clearly, you’re dominated by primal emotions, and you struggle to see all the options available to you.

And so instead it’s easy to go into black and white thinking. A place of duality. Only two options – save or leave your marriage.

But there are many options between save and leave your marriage where you can create change in your relationship and most importantly, be ok with whatever happens.

What are the options between save or leave?

I’m going to tell you 3 straight up below.

But if you want a better understanding of how to implement those options, to build freedom and courage in your marriage, I invite you to check out the video below.

Option number one seems obvious but it’s not obvious how to do it right.

Work on the marriage. But not in that classic lots of talk, do-nothing way common in a lot of couples therapy.

Instead, I’m talking about action, outcomes, and accountability between you and your partner, to get real results.

Are you interested in real outcomes when it comes to your marriage?

If so, I talk more about that in detail in the video above. Check it out.

Now option number two is one that scares the hell out of most men. They confuse it with divorce. But until you get educated about it, it’s easy to confuse it.

And this option is a trial separation. But to be clear, it can be done in the spirit of saving your marriage, if that’s what you’re seeking.

It sounds like this “Honey, I want a trial separation to see if we can save our marriage.”

A trial separation can be a huge help to a man seeking clarity on how committed he is to improve his relationship. Without commitment, you’re just throwing stuff at the wall to see if it sticks.

When it comes to a trial separation, you have to do it right to make it work. I offer many tools to help.

This includes answering tough questions such as…

Are we both committed to working on ourselves during this time?
What will our interaction be like during this time?
How will we still come together for our kids?

Does a trial separation appeal to you?

If so, let’s talk further.

And option number three is to take action and leadership with her. And by that, I mean create a safe container to speak the unspoken, as a way to get the ball rolling on creating a new marriage. Here’s a simple format to make that happen.

Now, what’s the chance that you do any of these 3 things on your own to successfully transform your marriage?

Be real. 10%? 50%?

And this is where every man needs help, as did I seven years ago. But often, we as men are taught that needing help means we are weak.

Ironically, that belief only makes us weaker.

A man’s power lies in his ability to cultivate a wise and effective team for himself.

A coach or guide who offers him accountability, challenge, and support to transform himself and his marriage.

Are you worthy of transforming your marriage?

What if you knew that you’ll be ok, whatever happens with her?

If that’s what you want, that is precisely what I teach men.

Don’t believe me. Hear from my client who said…

“In working with Stuart, I learned that I’ll be ok alone if things don’t work out with my wife. And ironically, that’s given me a new confidence & freedom to create the marriage I want with her.”

If you want this super-power too, let’s explore what’s possible for you. Connect with a bunch of powerful guys talking about this stuff fearlessly in my next Men’s Relationship Tools call this Tuesday at 12pm ET.

And for daily relationship tips and action items, join my private men’s only Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.