The voices are within… strong and yet depleting… you don’t want to show up… you don’t want to go to work… you don’t want to do anything…

You have nothing to say…. Nothing matters… But you need to speak your voice… You have to create something for your blog…

People are counting on you… those that seek a deeper inquiry… a soulful piece delivered to their inbox…

I’ve been at it now for several months… and yet I don’t know what to say or write… sure, I could recycle something I’ve already written but I owe you reader more… no faking it… no pretend… keep it real… connect…

I begin writing a piece on Kavanaugh and Ford and the need for shedding light on the shadow… but after a few paragraphs, it feels like filler… a bogus attempt to keep it relevant…

I feel no real inquiry there… politics disregards truth and shadow, it’s all about winning… blah blah… and besides we’ve been inundated…

And so I work at it… to let go of all agendas… to get it ‘done’… to create something of value…

And yet I don’t feel like showing up… I had a rough night’s sleep… I’d rather check out and mope…

But that’s NOT how I want to show up… that’s too easy… I’m a professional at victim consciousness…

In fact this week alone… I asked three clients this week, “What’s the benefit of being a victim?”

“I get to be safe. I don’t have to deal with myself.”

It’s always the same answer… or some version of it… a false way of being safe… I know it in myself and others…

So what then… if not safety?

Risk… the risk to fail… the risk to do something that doesn’t land… the risk to write something you don’t care about… the risk to not produce…

And yet the irony is I’m ok with failing if I choose failure… but I fear failure if I pursue success…

And what is success?  Getting a high open rate?  Getting 300 likes on facebook?

No, it’s not an outcome…success is showing up, being real, and engaging resistance… to push, to challenge, and yes, to grow… that is it… to show up… to not check out…  and from there you may engage, connect, and access… what energizes you…

…your awakeness… that which connects to your life energy… affirms the spark within… engages and expands your purpose… enlarges your sense of  being… to build energy.. to have depth and motivation to serve and be served… to love and be loved… to feed and be fed…

Your soul shines… and this life is a gift… and it is clear what you want to do with this “one and only precious life”… and then you may answer the question that lives within…

“Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

with your one wild and precious life?”

– poet Mary Oliver “The Summer Day” from The House of Light –

What’s this have to do with relationship?  It’s self-relationship, which expands all other relationships.

Come alive within and be more fulfilled in relationship with others.