Roberto was 12 years married when we began working together. He had all the behaviors of many married men I coach. He was walking on eggshells around his wife. He lived in fear of stepping on a landmine with her. And he tried to avoid what he feared – arguments, upsets, and divorce. “It all started about seven years ago […]
If you’ve been in a long term marriage or relationship, you know how it goes. You say one thing. She misinterprets it. An argument ensues. Women are tough today, many men say. Their expectations and demands on men are super high. And she’s always throwing firecrackers at me. Do you ever fight with your partner? Who doesn’t? But did you know […]
Fear. It’s a bear in relationship. It can weigh a man down. A lot. Fear of not being enough for her. Fear of letting her down. Fear of not making her happy. I’ve seen all kinds of fears from guys during years of coaching men in their relationships. And the biggest thing I teach guys is this… It’s not her that […]
The Hail Mary. That last ditch effort to eke out a win in a football game. It’s how many men try to save their relationship. Seven seconds left in the game. You’re down by three points at your own 42 yard line. The center snaps. The quarterback fades and tosses towards the end zone. You hold your breath. And maybe. Just maybe. It’ll […]
There’s a secret a lot of guys won’t speak. To speak it goes against the guy code. And it’s this. “I can’t be weak.” And often a man doesn’t know he holds this belief until he hits rock bottom in his relationship. Until he actually feels weak. It’s only then that he realizes how much time and energy he put in to avoid a reality […]
Marriage is a sacrifice. I hear this often. Do you believe that? Before you answer, consider the definition of sacrifice. “An act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure.” Ok, maybe you’re not actually slaughtering an animal, but… Are you slaughtering yourself for a divine ideal? Most […]
Well, we’re in the homestretch of the election season now. And typically, the word “homestretch” has a sense of comfort to it. We’ve done the hard work. And now we can relax. And yet when it comes to the election, it’s quite the opposite. We’re in the homestretch of all the craziness but there’s generally not a very relaxed mood […]
After years of marriage, I see a lot of men constantly answering to their wife. Her questions come daily. Did you call the doctor? Did you get the Comcast guy scheduled? Did you take out the garbage? Did you remember the kids have a half day on Tuesday? It reminds a man of what it was like to be a […]
It’s hard for a man to pinpoint. That exact moment when things flatlined in his relationship. Especially after so many years together. My client Michael wonders. When did it happen? He doesn’t know. And yet undeniably, there’s something missing in his relationship. A fire. A passion. An excitement. A desire for one another. Sex. He hungers for it. Do you feel something missing in […]
“She’s always coming at me with a charge. It’s like I have to take on her anger just to stay married to her.” James pauses and looks away for a moment. “Half of the time I’m not even sure what she’s angry about.” He throws his hands up in frustration. “The other day, she barked at me because I didn’t secure […]
