Once upon a time, a man met a woman. He thought she was attractive. He dated her. She seemed kind, open, loving. He felt energized in her presence. He went out with her several times. Then, he noticed life seemed bigger and richer with her versus being on his own. Soon, he decided to be exclusively intimate with her. He […]
Every month I hear from several dozen men struggling in their marriage or relationship. They say things like… “I don’t feel close to my wife.” “I’m not happy with my marriage.” “I don’t feel like I can meet her needs.” Do you struggle to meet your partner’s needs? When it comes to your partner’s needs, I offer a huge distinction […]
Dave, an eight-figure portfolio manager, manages and takes significant risks consistently in his professional life. But when it comes to his marriage, he’s surprisingly risk-averse. His wife has closed off to him. She’s sexually shut down on him. Has your partner shut down on you sexually? Sex was the initial concern for which Dave came to see me. “I can’t […]
First, if applicable, I invite you to depart from your politically correct, easily-offended mindset. Second, consider this non-PC phrase. One that men may use to describe a buddy’s romantic state in early relationship. Are you pussy whipped? With full respect to women, a woman’s ability to “pussy whip” a man is simultaneously her power to capture him. And while an […]
I remember many years ago, when I was first introduced to the teachings of Ken Wilber, transpersonal psychology writer. He said men on the evolutionary scale have two instincts. What are men’s two primary instincts historically? The first instinct for a man, he said, is to KILL IT. Kill, hunt, get the prey, conquer, win, feed the tribe. Today that […]
“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur. “How do you know that?” I say. “We never have sex anymore,” he says Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well? “Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say. “Correct,” he says “Do you feel needy?” He […]
“She’s always got to have the last word.” “I can never win an argument with her.” “She’s got to be right.” Do these words describe your wife? In 15 years of coaching men, I’ve heard men say these things countless times. And let’s get real, brother, women say similar things about their men. But things I don’t hear women say […]
“I want to have more sex with my wife,” said Rick, a CEO client. “OK, so what’s your sense of why it’s not happening?” I asked. “She’s busy all the time. She’s tired when I’m awake. And I’m tired when she’s up. It’s like we just miss each other,” he says. Are you in a sexless or sexually-challenged marriage? For […]
It’s one of the toughest things we can do. In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, I’ve seen how it’s key to a man to take charge of his marriage. It cuts to the heart of answering the question. How do I fix my marriage? To do so, you must see your blind spot. Without doing so, you fall […]
Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
