Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
The most common questions I hear men voicing about their marriage. Why does she complain so much about me? And what can I do about it? Maybe you’ve been married or in a relationship for many years – 5, 10, or 20 years. Do you ever wonder when will her complaining stop? Maybe you think to yourself, I do my […]
“My wife says I don’t listen to her,” Mike says. “And then I think,” he continues. “Listen to her? I can barely even follow her words.” He’s exasperated just talking about it. As the CEO of a high tech company, he’s a master of clear communication, but at home, he falters. “In the same breath, she says she had a […]
Emotions. They can hound a man. Take him over. Anger and fear especially. Ever thought to yourself after an emotional outburst… Jeez, did I just say that to her? What just happened? Man, I’m gonna be in the doghouse for the next week. Chances are it took you a few minutes or longer to notice how your emotions got the […]
“Why do you write about sex so much?” My client Jeff recently asked me. I thought about it for a moment, realizing that what seemed obvious to me wasn’t to him. “In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, so many are feeling deprived of touch and physical intimacy in their marriages. And… that was once my story, so I […]
Success. It’s one of the greatest values we hold as men. Crushing it at work. Making things happen. Seeing the money. It can be quite gratifying when we are successful at work. At the same time, it’s mystifying when we can’t replicate that success in our marriage or relationship. Are you that guy who crushes it at work but struggles […]
Sex. It should be simple. It should be clean. She should just want you. And yet when she doesn’t, you can feel a ton of rejection, a sense of desperation, and like you’re screwed – no pun intended. Do you experience sexual rejection from your wife or partner? Or maybe you just don’t get enough sex? A mentor of mine, […]
“I feel like I’m in the doghouse with my partner.” Ever hear a guy say that? That’s code for I’m not getting any sex. Have you been in the doghouse with your partner? Are you there now? Every month, I hear from a handful of guys who say they’re not sexually fulfilled in their relationship. They act like they’ve been […]
“I just want things to be fluid with her,” my client Will says. “I want her to be ok.” Sounds reasonable enough, right? How about you? Are things smooth sailing with your partner? Maybe like Will, you’re willing to do anything to get your partner to chill…. Until you’re fed up… Will says, “I took the kids to school every […]
Symptoms. What ails you. Do you operate in your relationship at the level of symptoms? A “yes” means that you don’t give much thought to the quality of your relationship until symptoms, typically negative, appear. Be it… She doesn’t hear me. Or she complains a lot. Maybe it’s that she isn’t open to me. Or whatever your challenge is. If […]
