“Crushing,” my client Tommy, a CTO at a software company, said. “It’s crushing when my wife’s upset at me. I love her and want to be a good man for her.” And then the dagger came. “I can’t be OK when she’s not OK.” Do you struggle being OK when your partner’s not OK? The dagger was in his words, […]
Death revive my relationship? Say what? Ok, man, tell me about that. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. When I say death, I’m not talking about actual physical death. I mean the death that brings laser-sharp clarity to what needs to die in your relationship. What behaviors need to die in your relationship? Here are a few I’ve seen my […]
Tim, a high profile lawyer, is touted by his team for his communication skills in the court room. He’s a master orator who wins many cases. Yet at home, he falls on his face, often at a loss for words, explicitly when his wife says all he cares about is sex. “Yeah, you work all day, then expect to use […]
Doug is the CEO of a midsize company valued at approximately 75 million dollars. He has a lot of responsibility at work and answers to many people, including, most of all, his board. It’s a high-pressure gig and one that he thrives on with great success. He experiences confidence and inner authority at work. But, and you may know where […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
“My wife says I don’t listen to her,” Mike says. “And then I think,” he continues. “Listen to her? I can barely even follow her words.” He’s exasperated just talking about it. As the CEO of a high tech company, he’s a master of clear communication, but at home, he falters. “In the same breath, she says she had a […]
Emotions. They can hound a man. Take him over. Anger and fear especially. Ever thought to yourself after an emotional outburst… Jeez, did I just say that to her? What just happened? Man, I’m gonna be in the doghouse for the next week. Chances are it took you a few minutes or longer to notice how your emotions got the […]
“Why do you write about sex so much?” My client Jeff recently asked me. I thought about it for a moment, realizing that what seemed obvious to me wasn’t to him. “In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, so many are feeling deprived of touch and physical intimacy in their marriages. And… that was once my story, so I […]
Success. It’s one of the greatest values we hold as men. Crushing it at work. Making things happen. Seeing the money. It can be quite gratifying when we are successful at work. At the same time, it’s mystifying when we can’t replicate that success in our marriage or relationship. Are you that guy who crushes it at work but struggles […]
Sex. It should be simple. It should be clean. She should just want you. And yet when she doesn’t, you can feel a ton of rejection, a sense of desperation, and like you’re screwed – no pun intended. Do you experience sexual rejection from your wife or partner? Or maybe you just don’t get enough sex? A mentor of mine, […]
