“Are you crazy? Ask her for sex?” my client Tom asked me. “She’ll freak out on me.” I had just encouraged Tom to ask his wife for what he wanted from her. In his own words, that was sex. Simple enough. “How is avoiding it serving you?” I said to him. He thought about it. Like many men I coach, […]
Fear. It’s a bear in relationship. It can weigh a man down. A lot. Fear of not being enough for her. Fear of letting her down. Fear of not making her happy. I’ve seen all kinds of fears from guys during years of coaching men in their relationships. And the biggest thing I teach guys is this… It’s not her that […]
“She’s always coming at me with a charge. It’s like I have to take on her anger just to stay married to her.” James pauses and looks away for a moment. “Half of the time I’m not even sure what she’s angry about.” He throws his hands up in frustration. “The other day, she barked at me because I didn’t secure […]
Men often come to me exasperated. They’re working hard at their job, helping out at home, and with their kids. And then they hear their partner say, “I don’t feel like you’re on my team.” It often leaves a guy feeling blindsided. What? Not on your team? I’m busting my ass for you. Have you ever been told that you’re not on […]
“I can’t be me without her freaking out on me,” my client Tim said to me. Wow, I thought, that sounds tough and I felt like that once upon a time. Does your partner ever freak out on you? Maybe you said one thing and she misinterpreted it to mean something else. Or you tried to do something you thought was kind and then […]
A guy wants sex. His wife doesn’t. He asks himself, “What’s the point of being married if I can’t have sex with my own wife? Will it be like this forever?” He feels trapped. Have you ever felt trapped like this in a sexless relationship? I have. I even went to a sex addiction therapist at one point in my […]
Let’s say you have relationship problems. Where’s the first place you might turn? Likely, it’s a therapist. That makes sense. There are lots of therapists out there. A dude assumes he’s got stuff to work out. But when it comes to fixing his relationship problems, therapy often falls short for most men. Why do guys often struggle in therapy? In short, […]
A guy complains that his wife never wants to have sex. He’s a good guy who loves his wife a lot. He strives to be kind, considerate, and loving. Is he doing something wrong? “She’s just shut down. It’s hard to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex,” he says. I relate. Years ago, in my marriage, I thought my […]
“BOOM! One day she asked me for a divorce,” John says to me. He’s absolutely blindsided, as if it came out of nowhere. But yet it didn’t. He and his wife rarely had sex. They were more like roommates than a married couple. And to deal or not deal, he worked a lot. Are you asleep at the steering wheel […]
Charles shoots me a quick email. Eventually, we talk. He says something I hear from a lot of guys. “I can never be enough for her. I do 9 out of the 10 things she asks me to do. And then I get railed on for not doing the 10th thing.” Can you relate to not being enough for your partner? I’ve […]
