“I don’t put the dishes away. “I don’t spend enough time with the kids. “She doesn’t feel like I’m on her team. “It’s endless. Sometimes I wonder why she even stays married to me,” Jack says. Does your wife complain about you? “Why does she stay married to you? Have you asked her?” I say. Jack takes a deep breath. […]
“You don’t hear me.” “Why don’t you take me seriously?” “You don’t listen.” Does your wife say any of these things to you? It’s not uncommon for a guy to hear something similar from his wife. And there’s a good reason why. As men, we often struggle to keep up with our partner’s words. We feel like she’s verbose and […]
For many married men, an unconscious thing happens over the years. It happened to me in my marriage. You work hard in your career. You try to be good to your kids. But over time, you and your wife drift apart. And in time, you lose her. You essentially become roommates. Do you feel like roommates with your wife? No […]
Sex. I talk a lot about it. In fact, it’s the biggest complaint men have about their marriages, that there’s not enough of it. Of course, this is because men are superficial and only care about the physical. And if you believe that, then you know nothing about most men and you’re being superficial. Time and again, I hear guys […]
I hear from a lot of men who say they want more sex in their marriage. They say, “I love my wife. She’s great but I don’t know if I can stay married to her.” And then they explain further… “We haven’t had sex in months. “She’s not even interested. “She’s frigid.” Do you struggle with sex in your relationship? […]
We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
Rob, an Executive VP and client, wants more kindness from his wife. Not even sex or connection just kindness. It seems like a low bar and the least he can expect from his wife of 15 years. Instead, he gets degradation, denigration, and verbal abuse. Do you experience verbal abuse from your wife? Rob struggled to identify it as verbal […]
Every month, a man struggling in his marriage emails me with a simple question. How can I save my marriage? Maybe you’re asking yourself this question. Or you’re avoiding it. Or you’re not even sure if your marriage is worth saving. You might be saying things like… “She’s just not open to me.” “She doesn’t trust me.” “I know I […]
I remember many years ago, when I was first introduced to the teachings of Ken Wilber, transpersonal psychology writer. He said men on the evolutionary scale have two instincts. What are men’s two primary instincts historically? The first instinct for a man, he said, is to KILL IT. Kill, hunt, get the prey, conquer, win, feed the tribe. Today that […]
