We think we’re not enough. It’s why we don’t ask for what we want in marriage. And within the not enough script inside of us, subtle psychological mechanisms are at work– in how we repeat old relational patterns, how we sabotage ourselves, and how we neglect our most precious relationships. Freud called it the thanatos “death drive,” the opposing force […]
When men approach the threshold of marital change, be it considering separation, divorce, or reinvention, I immediately acknowledge the immensity of where they are. That place of big change, the cracking open of new life. They often do not see it. How could they? It is not in our cultural language. I emphasize the importance of taking it slowly, one step at […]
A man knows he has to get out of his marriage, change it, do something. And yet he does nothing; fear cripples him. Is this man you? This man is divided. He fears the fallout of change but knows he must make change. He works with me. We go deep into his fears. We create a path forward in which he can honor […]
“This is a man’s world,” James Brown sang 54 years ago in his iconic 1966 ballad, “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” That’s right. The Godfather of Soul. This is a man’s world, this is a man’s world But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl. Brown goes on about the inventions man made, from cars […]
“The feminine in a man?” A big burly man says. His massive biceps dwarf his muscle shirt, as he lifts at the gym. “Ha, you got to be kidding me. Next thing you know, you’ll be asking me to be join the knitting club.” “That manly man ain’t so manly,” another man says, “if he’s afraid of his heart.” Ok, […]
There’s one question that disarms couples in a moment of conflict. Prefer to watch me present live? The Conflict John and Susan zoom in to me on video chat from South Carolina. John’s a high level executive with a steel company. And while he spends a lot of time at work, he’s aging and well aware that his home life […]
Today, a story about the greatest suffering – forgetting who we are. Prefer to watch me present live? Check out the YouTube video now. The Client Tim comes into my office. He is torn up inside. He has been married for many years. He’s not shy about sharing how much he loves his wife and children. But… something’s not right. […]
It was classic one finger pointing at my partner, three pointing back at me. It happened like this… Prefer to watch me present live? Check out it out. The Problem Man, I was pissed off. For the second time in a week, she changed plans on me. She got out of her appointment. Then she decided she could not meet me, […]
Mike had it all. Several homes, a boat, a healthy family. What we perceive as success. But in his marriage, that was not the case. He had been with his wife for 17 years. He struggled to talk to her. Nothing was ever enough. He could never get it right. And he took it to heart. “How is it I’m […]
That night, all those years ago, I sat on the dream bed in the dream house, totally confused. I had no idea that I was being called to an initiation. Yet, something mysterious tugged at me, challenging me to move away from my marriage, and be willing to lose everything as I knew it. But I was frozen. Clearly, my […]
