We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
William is a high-powered exec in his day job but a humiliated servant at home. His wife steamrolls over him when it comes to just about anything. On top of that, she wants him to step up and be more manly. And while he has a sense of what it means to be more “manly,” he wonders, how the hell […]
Rick was like many of my clients. A high-achieving executive, he crushed it at work but at home all his skills and talents fell flat. His marriage was floundering and his wife was unhappy. Do you get more validation at work than from your wife? If you do, it would make sense that you might be avoidant at home. Such […]
The house of your marriage is on fire. You spin in the same conflict with your wife. You hear the same words from her. “I can’t trust you. You don’t do what you say. I don’t feel like you’re on my team.” It’s enough for a guy to lose hope in the future of his marriage. And even worse, lose […]
“She shuts down on me,” my client Rick says to me. He’s not used to that. In his work as a tech CEO, he consistently has the attention and focus of others. He’s used to his words being heard and people being open to him. “Sometimes I can’t figure out what I did. Why’s she like that?” Does your wife […]
Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days. Brené Brown speaks about it often. Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.” Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife? Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention. 90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number. […]
Once upon a time, a man met a woman. He thought she was attractive. He dated her. She seemed kind, open, loving. He felt energized in her presence. He went out with her several times. Then, he noticed life seemed bigger and richer with her versus being on his own. Soon, he decided to be exclusively intimate with her. He […]
First, if applicable, I invite you to depart from your politically correct, easily-offended mindset. Second, consider this non-PC phrase. One that men may use to describe a buddy’s romantic state in early relationship. Are you pussy whipped? With full respect to women, a woman’s ability to “pussy whip” a man is simultaneously her power to capture him. And while an […]
“She’s always got to have the last word.” “I can never win an argument with her.” “She’s got to be right.” Do these words describe your wife? In 15 years of coaching men, I’ve heard men say these things countless times. And let’s get real, brother, women say similar things about their men. But things I don’t hear women say […]
