Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
Jay, a high-earning manufacturing CEO, has daily challenges at work but nothing he can’t handle. Yet at home with his wife, he’s exasperated, at his wit’s end. “She expects me to read her mind. And when I don’t, she freaks on me,” he says. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.” I listen, thinking there […]
Make it right. Let her know you care. Show her you love her. Do you do these things in your marriage? Most guys do. It comes with great intention. But often, it’s done too late. And merely a response to having upset your wife in the first place. Maybe you didn’t listen to her properly. Maybe you forgot to make […]
Love is blind is a cliché. And yet there is some truth to it. Consider Zack. You may have hung out with him before. You know that guy who’s clearly getting beat up by his wife (she yells at him, gets hysterical, complains about him nonstop) yet he still blames himself for all their marital problems? “If only I could… […]
“Crushing,” my client Tommy, a CTO at a software company, said. “It’s crushing when my wife’s upset at me. I love her and want to be a good man for her.” And then the dagger came. “I can’t be OK when she’s not OK.” Do you struggle being OK when your partner’s not OK? The dagger was in his words, […]
Death revive my relationship? Say what? Ok, man, tell me about that. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. When I say death, I’m not talking about actual physical death. I mean the death that brings laser-sharp clarity to what needs to die in your relationship. What behaviors need to die in your relationship? Here are a few I’ve seen my […]
Tim, a high profile lawyer, is touted by his team for his communication skills in the court room. He’s a master orator who wins many cases. Yet at home, he falls on his face, often at a loss for words, explicitly when his wife says all he cares about is sex. “Yeah, you work all day, then expect to use […]
Doug is the CEO of a midsize company valued at approximately 75 million dollars. He has a lot of responsibility at work and answers to many people, including, most of all, his board. It’s a high-pressure gig and one that he thrives on with great success. He experiences confidence and inner authority at work. But, and you may know where […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
The most common questions I hear men voicing about their marriage. Why does she complain so much about me? And what can I do about it? Maybe you’ve been married or in a relationship for many years – 5, 10, or 20 years. Do you ever wonder when will her complaining stop? Maybe you think to yourself, I do my […]
