We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
The house of your marriage is on fire. You spin in the same conflict with your wife. You hear the same words from her. “I can’t trust you. You don’t do what you say. I don’t feel like you’re on my team.” It’s enough for a guy to lose hope in the future of his marriage. And even worse, lose […]
Every month, a man struggling in his marriage emails me with a simple question. How can I save my marriage? Maybe you’re asking yourself this question. Or you’re avoiding it. Or you’re not even sure if your marriage is worth saving. You might be saying things like… “She’s just not open to me.” “She doesn’t trust me.” “I know I […]
Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days. Brené Brown speaks about it often. Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.” Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife? Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention. 90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number. […]
Once upon a time, a man met a woman. He thought she was attractive. He dated her. She seemed kind, open, loving. He felt energized in her presence. He went out with her several times. Then, he noticed life seemed bigger and richer with her versus being on his own. Soon, he decided to be exclusively intimate with her. He […]
Every month I hear from several dozen men struggling in their marriage or relationship. They say things like… “I don’t feel close to my wife.” “I’m not happy with my marriage.” “I don’t feel like I can meet her needs.” Do you struggle to meet your partner’s needs? When it comes to your partner’s needs, I offer a huge distinction […]
Dave, an eight-figure portfolio manager, manages and takes significant risks consistently in his professional life. But when it comes to his marriage, he’s surprisingly risk-averse. His wife has closed off to him. She’s sexually shut down on him. Has your partner shut down on you sexually? Sex was the initial concern for which Dave came to see me. “I can’t […]
It’s one of the toughest things we can do. In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, I’ve seen how it’s key to a man to take charge of his marriage. It cuts to the heart of answering the question. How do I fix my marriage? To do so, you must see your blind spot. Without doing so, you fall […]
Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
