We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
Rob, an Executive VP and client, wants more kindness from his wife. Not even sex or connection just kindness. It seems like a low bar and the least he can expect from his wife of 15 years. Instead, he gets degradation, denigration, and verbal abuse. Do you experience verbal abuse from your wife? Rob struggled to identify it as verbal […]
The house of your marriage is on fire. You spin in the same conflict with your wife. You hear the same words from her. “I can’t trust you. You don’t do what you say. I don’t feel like you’re on my team.” It’s enough for a guy to lose hope in the future of his marriage. And even worse, lose […]
You commit to one woman. She’s the one you will be with. She’s the one woman with whom you will have sex. You’ve committed to her in marriage or monogamy. And then, the door closes. Over time during your relationship, she closes the door behind the sex life you once shared. Has your partner closed the door on your sex […]
Marriage. Relationship. Coupledom. Commitment to one partner. That person you can rely on forever. Sounds beautiful upfront. And yet, if you’ve been in a long-term marriage or relationship, it’s not that simple. That one person is also the one who will trigger the sh*t out of you, causing you to feel trapped at times; in fact, that’s their job. The […]
Every month, a man struggling in his marriage emails me with a simple question. How can I save my marriage? Maybe you’re asking yourself this question. Or you’re avoiding it. Or you’re not even sure if your marriage is worth saving. You might be saying things like… “She’s just not open to me.” “She doesn’t trust me.” “I know I […]
It started for Alex with an acknowledgment—an awareness that his pain wasn’t the enemy, but an opportunity. A doorway to creating a more fulfilling marriage and greater life. As a clean energy executive transforming the nation’s grid, Alex sought challenges as opportunities in his work. But he didn’t do the same at home. He’d lost trust with his wife. She […]
You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
Vulnerability. It’s a bit of a buzzword in the relationship world these days. Brené Brown speaks about it often. Specifically, how it’s important to “embrace your vulnerability.” Why bother? Why be vulnerable with your wife? Well, if your marriage is on the rocks, pay attention. 90% of divorces in college-educated couples are initiated by the wife. Yes, a staggering number. […]
