“I love my wife. We have a great life. I want to make things work. “But…,” Ryan pauses and considers if he will reveal his secret. I nod my head, giving him the cue that it’s ok to speak. “I’m miserable,” he says, conflicted inside. Do you feel conflicted about the current state of your marriage? A part of Ryan […]
Relationship is a confusing minefield for many men. That was once true for me during a 20 year marriage. She says one thing one day and then something else another day. From I don’t know what she really wants to she’s nuts or I just want peace, a lot of men resign themselves to confusion and the status quo. Yet, underneath is a feeling that […]
It’s hard for a man to pinpoint. That exact moment when things flatlined in his relationship. Especially after so many years together. My client Michael wonders. When did it happen? He doesn’t know. And yet undeniably, there’s something missing in his relationship. A fire. A passion. An excitement. A desire for one another. Sex. He hungers for it. Do you feel something missing in […]
Let’s say you have relationship problems. Where’s the first place you might turn? Likely, it’s a therapist. That makes sense. There are lots of therapists out there. A dude assumes he’s got stuff to work out. But when it comes to fixing his relationship problems, therapy often falls short for most men. Why do guys often struggle in therapy? In short, […]
A guy complains that his wife never wants to have sex. He’s a good guy who loves his wife a lot. He strives to be kind, considerate, and loving. Is he doing something wrong? “She’s just shut down. It’s hard to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex,” he says. I relate. Years ago, in my marriage, I thought my […]
A man walks delicately around his partner. In any moment, she might reprimand him. It’s a pattern in their relationship. In reaction, he thinks, If only she’d give me some peace of mind. If only she’d stay out of my shit, not be after me so much, then I could rest, then I could be ok. He rolls out of bed in […]
Charles shoots me a quick email. Eventually, we talk. He says something I hear from a lot of guys. “I can never be enough for her. I do 9 out of the 10 things she asks me to do. And then I get railed on for not doing the 10th thing.” Can you relate to not being enough for your partner? I’ve […]
“Too bad if you don’t like who I am!” a guy says. He walks out on his wife, thinking, F*#k her, I don’t need this shit anymore. Have you ever been pissed & walked out on your partner? I have. It feels like shit, especially when it happens often. And afterwards, maybe you’re thinking, Do I really have to go back home […]
3 guys in marriages that feel hopeless have a similar story. We never have sex. I can’t make her happy. It’s hopeless. You’ve heard it before. And yet… Are you living in what feels like a hopeless marriage? I was that guy. You know, feeling stuck in the marital dead zone. Maybe you’re like guy #3. Fine with the dead […]
Rick hadn’t been intimate with his wife for almost a year. They’d been married for fifteen. “Once in a blue moon, she’ll let me touch her breasts,” Rick said, as if reluctantly accepting a consolation prize. His options, in his view, were to stay in a sexless marriage or leave and risk losing his family. The double bind of Damned if you do, […]
