This is firsthand. I’ve been there. The brutal nature of feeling like the one person – your wife or partner – to whom you’ve limited your sexuality has closed the door on that part of your life. She’s no longer interested in sex. She says she can’t be physically intimate if she doesn’t first feel emotionally connected. Or she just […]
Fear. An emotion that goes underground for most men at a young age. It happened to me when I was just 5 years old. It was then that I first learned fear wasn’t okay for a boy. I remember my older brother, who was eight at the time, said to me, “What are you afraid of, you little baby? Little […]
Men. Many of us often cruise along in our marriage. As long as we’re having sex occasionally and the house isn’t on fire, we’re fine with how things are. We don’t think much more about our marriage. Then there’s another group of guys in the marital battle zone. No sex. The house is on fire. And in response, they try […]
Ben was a successful account executive in his company. A fierce competitor. He pushed hard to go after what he wanted. He was a great connector when it came to people. At work, he was confident and capable. He loved what he did. Yet at home, it was a totally different story. At home, he lived in fear. Fear that […]
You’re struggling in your marriage. You fear divorce. You fear even more the impact on your kids. What do you do? In the past month, two clients told me a version of this story above. Both were stunned at their kids’ responses when they told them that they might be headed for divorce. Can you imagine what the kids said? […]
In marriage and relationship, at a certain point, things flatline. It’s inevitable. It is not cynical. It’s just how it is. At a certain point, we get so safe in the relationship that we stop aspiring towards what lights us up. And often we can’t put our finger on when that happened. Then one day, we live into a future […]
The holidays can be a super-challenging time for a married guy or any man in relationship. His wife’s over-spending on excessive gifts. Trying to be “joyful” with her when you’re just not. The sense of obligation to be on your best behavior for the kids. It can all leave a guy dreading the holidays. Yet these are mere symptoms of […]
Eight years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
Shhh. I have a secret. It’s something nobody tells you about marriage. In fact, it’s something you should’ve known way before you even got married. It’s precisely because you don’t know this one thing that you may be in a marriage that drains you more than fulfills you. And it can put you in a position where you feel like […]
When I first got married, I was very much in love with my wife. I dreamed of our future. Wondered what our kids would look like. Thought about the life we’d create together. I sought a home in my prior wife at the time. A psychological, emotional, and sexual home. A place I could rest and relax and not deal […]
