We think we’re not enough. It’s why we don’t ask for what we want in marriage. And within the not enough script inside of us, subtle psychological mechanisms are at work– in how we repeat old relational patterns, how we sabotage ourselves, and how we neglect our most precious relationships. Freud called it the thanatos “death drive,” the opposing force […]
When men approach the threshold of marital change, be it considering separation, divorce, or reinvention, I immediately acknowledge the immensity of where they are. That place of big change, the cracking open of new life. They often do not see it. How could they? It is not in our cultural language. I emphasize the importance of taking it slowly, one step at […]
A man knows he has to get out of his marriage, change it, do something. And yet he does nothing; fear cripples him. Is this man you? This man is divided. He fears the fallout of change but knows he must make change. He works with me. We go deep into his fears. We create a path forward in which he can honor […]
“This is a man’s world,” James Brown sang 54 years ago in his iconic 1966 ballad, “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” That’s right. The Godfather of Soul. This is a man’s world, this is a man’s world But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl. Brown goes on about the inventions man made, from cars […]
“The feminine in a man?” A big burly man says. His massive biceps dwarf his muscle shirt, as he lifts at the gym. “Ha, you got to be kidding me. Next thing you know, you’ll be asking me to be join the knitting club.” “That manly man ain’t so manly,” another man says, “if he’s afraid of his heart.” Ok, […]
