Christmas. How will you spend it this year? Will you wake up, greeted by family? Or maybe you’ll be alone? Maybe you don’t even celebrate it. Regardless, it’s a time of year when we often take stock of our relationships. With a spouse or partner, we may become aware of how we are in connection or not. How things have […]
To be in relationship is to step into a boxing ring. We take blows and dish them out. We pivot left and right. In the first few rounds, we perform all kinds of fancy footwork to impress our partner. In the thick of trying to make things work – fulfill a partner’s needs or advocate for our own – a […]
Front of mind and back of mind. These are the two places where we typically hold a committed partner when love is unrequited or relationship challenges arise. In front, is when we are in fear… Of losing a partner. Of it being over. Of the threat of relationship ending or divorce. Monkey mind and scared heart run the scripts – What […]
Have you ever been in love? Madly in love? With someone you couldn’t be with? Or someone you fought with? Maybe he or she didn’t have reciprocal feelings. Or there was a core incongruence – like he lived on the other side of the country or she wanted kids, or a consistent issue that convoluted the simple truth that you […]
I sit quietly. The typical white noise in my head – thoughts of what I have to do, where I have to be, who posted what on facebook – is absent. All weekend, I have been sitting in council, hearing others’ stories and challenges, looking into eyes, seeing tears, experiencing joys. Away from technology, we wake up together. Share dreams […]
Love ‘em or hate ‘em. The holidays are still coming. Watching the game. Making the stuffing. Carving the turkey. Eating until we’re stuffed. Black Friday. Preparing for Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza. Exchanging gifts. Being with loved ones. Planning for New Year’s. The big night out or the big party. Resolutions, anyone? It’s a time of social commitments, family gatherings, work […]
How does anyone stay safe in this country anymore? I wondered Thursday morning, upon seeing news of the Thousand Oaks shooting. Thousand Oaks. It’s a place where I’ve visited friends, to where I once considered moving. A quiet, polished, picture-perfect suburb tucked in the valley inland of the Santa Monica mountains, north of Los Angles. Needless to say, this one […]
I can’t. I won’t. It’s not possible. I don’t know how to. It doesn’t work. Resistance. It’s a dragon. A monster. A fear-baiter. And sometimes an ally. Resistance stops the haters from feeling the love in their hearts. Says I’d rather hate you than feel my own pain. Call me a racist. I don’t care. I will stay safe. I’d […]
We seek it. We hunger for it. And yet often we give up on it. Betrayed by past failures. Or cynical about the state of the world. But we need it. To stay vital. To feel the spark of life. All of us. We do. And it is love. And it can be really hard to feel at times. We […]
Chances are if you are reading this, you may have been upset at the Kavanaugh confirmation. The same could be true of many moves of the current administration and congress. You many have asked many times, How do Trump supporters keep supporting Trump? And Trump supporters asking, Why do liberals hate us so much? The U.S. is imploding, it seems. […]
