In my 20 year marriage, I had a few holidays where my wife and I were just not in a good way. We weren’t talking much. We were functional or barely dealing with one another. I was wondering if we should stay together or not. And then there was this pressure to get gifts and show up “happy” for her […]
Ok, warning. Bad wife joke. There are two times in his life when a man doesn’t understand women. Before marriage and after marriage. True or false? Funny or tragic? You decide. For me, it tends towards the tragic. That’s due to the depth of suffering I see in men struggling to understand their female partners. When that partner is your […]
Fear. It shows up often in relationship. I hear a lot of men saying things like… I fear her anger. Or, I fear I’ll never be enough for her. I also hear, I fear she’ll never want to have sex again. I fear that if I try to talk about it, she’s gonna blow up at me. Do you have […]
“She has no idea how hard I work.” Robert, a seven-figure tech entrepreneur, shakes his head. “Does she think I slave away all day just for me? “I want all the wonderful things that she wants. In fact, I love providing for her. But damn if…” He pauses, thinks. “Ok, fine, she’s made it clear, I need to show up […]
We’ve been together 7 years, a man says. We’ve been together 12 years, says another. We’ve been together 22 years, says a third guy. What do all these guys have in common? All of them flatlined in their marriages. They all felt dead inside with their partner. They struggled with passion in their marriages. Passion. It often fades in a […]
My client *Jacob is a powerhouse at work, in a field in which his highly specialized legal expertise in corporate mergers is in high demand. But at home, his power wanes. He is like many men I talk with. His wife is distant, and emotionally cold. Intimacy in his marriage is lacking. Lack of sex in a marriage is a […]
I remember 8 years ago, I first started asking the question. It was in my kitchen where I was washing the dishes in my suburban house in Boulder, CO. Feeling quite desperate and overwhelmed with everything in my life – from running my business, helping run a household, raising a son, and all the other stuff that comes with it. […]
William is a high-powered exec in his day job but a humiliated servant at home. His wife steamrolls over him when it comes to just about anything. On top of that, she wants him to step up and be more manly. And while he has a sense of what it means to be more “manly,” he wonders, how the hell […]
Rick was like many of my clients. A high-achieving executive, he crushed it at work but at home all his skills and talents fell flat. His marriage was floundering and his wife was unhappy. Do you get more validation at work than from your wife? If you do, it would make sense that you might be avoidant at home. Such […]
The internet is flooded with tactics for men on how to fix their marriage. Yeah, that’s right fix it. Guys are hungry for a fix. And so they hear things like… Be the alpha male and take charge of things. Don’t let her neuroses rock your calm masculinity. Get her to do what you want with your clarity. The problem […]
