First, if applicable, I invite you to depart from your politically correct, easily-offended mindset. Second, consider this non-PC phrase. One that men may use to describe a buddy’s romantic state in early relationship. Are you pussy whipped? With full respect to women, a woman’s ability to “pussy whip” a man is simultaneously her power to capture him. And while an […]
I remember many years ago, when I was first introduced to the teachings of Ken Wilber, transpersonal psychology writer. He said men on the evolutionary scale have two instincts. What are men’s two primary instincts historically? The first instinct for a man, he said, is to KILL IT. Kill, hunt, get the prey, conquer, win, feed the tribe. Today that […]
“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur. “How do you know that?” I say. “We never have sex anymore,” he says Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well? “Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say. “Correct,” he says “Do you feel needy?” He […]
“She’s always got to have the last word.” “I can never win an argument with her.” “She’s got to be right.” Do these words describe your wife? In 15 years of coaching men, I’ve heard men say these things countless times. And let’s get real, brother, women say similar things about their men. But things I don’t hear women say […]
“I want to have more sex with my wife,” said Rick, a CEO client. “OK, so what’s your sense of why it’s not happening?” I asked. “She’s busy all the time. She’s tired when I’m awake. And I’m tired when she’s up. It’s like we just miss each other,” he says. Are you in a sexless or sexually-challenged marriage? For […]
It’s one of the toughest things we can do. In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, I’ve seen how it’s key to a man to take charge of his marriage. It cuts to the heart of answering the question. How do I fix my marriage? To do so, you must see your blind spot. Without doing so, you fall […]
Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
Many years into my marriage, my sex drive was 10 times my wife’s. I wondered if I was a sex addict. So, to find out, I went to a therapist specializing in sex addiction. After an hour, he said, “No, you’re not a sex addict. You’re just a regular dude with a healthy sex drive.” I saw him, motivated by […]
Jay, a high-earning manufacturing CEO, has daily challenges at work but nothing he can’t handle. Yet at home with his wife, he’s exasperated, at his wit’s end. “She expects me to read her mind. And when I don’t, she freaks on me,” he says. “I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this.” I listen, thinking there […]
Maybe you’ve had this experience. You met your wife. You fell in love. And then somewhere during the course of your marriage, she turned sour on you. You no longer experience openness from her. She’s not as chill or go with the flow as she used to be. She doesn’t appreciate you the way she once did. She even outright […]
