Jake’s a big-shot engineer. An engineer who travels the country and lectures internationally. The rock star of engineers who trains other big-shot engineers. He’s brilliant. But like so many other successful men I speak with, his marriage is falling apart. Jake can’t reconcile himself to his own failure at home. He loves his kids but he refuses to fully acknowledge […]
Fear. It shows up often in relationship. I hear a lot of men saying things like… I fear her anger. Or, I fear I’ll never be enough for her. I also hear, I fear she’ll never want to have sex again. I fear that if I try to talk about it, she’s gonna blow up at me. Do you have […]
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Ever heard the expression? If so, then you may understand like my client Mauricio did, that in relationship, the saying applies doubly so. Mauricio would get into an argument with his wife and then for hours afterward, he would beat himself up. He’d spiral into fear about how his wife would deprive him of […]
Men. Many of us often cruise along in our marriage. As long as we’re having sex occasionally and the house isn’t on fire, we’re fine with how things are. We don’t think much more about our marriage. Then there’s another group of guys in the marital battle zone. No sex. The house is on fire. And in response, they try […]
Ben was a successful account executive in his company. A fierce competitor. He pushed hard to go after what he wanted. He was a great connector when it came to people. At work, he was confident and capable. He loved what he did. Yet at home, it was a totally different story. At home, he lived in fear. Fear that […]
Healthy boundaries. Maybe you’ve heard of them. Maybe you’ve even heard that they are good for your marriage or relationship. And yet maybe you’re still trying to figure out how the heck to implement them. If that’s you, you won’t want to miss this podcast in which I speak in detail about: How to deal with the childish part of […]
Recently, I emailed you a video called “The #1 Sex Killer.” It was about how you could be unknowingly killing off your partner’s sexual appetite. I spoke about how to stop that pattern. I also gave a tip on how to do the opposite — to become more attractive to her. But that didn’t sit too well with one guy. […]
In marriage and relationship, at a certain point, things flatline. It’s inevitable. It is not cynical. It’s just how it is. At a certain point, we get so safe in the relationship that we stop aspiring towards what lights us up. And often we can’t put our finger on when that happened. Then one day, we live into a future […]
The holidays can be a super-challenging time for a married guy or any man in relationship. His wife’s over-spending on excessive gifts. Trying to be “joyful” with her when you’re just not. The sense of obligation to be on your best behavior for the kids. It can all leave a guy dreading the holidays. Yet these are mere symptoms of […]
Eight years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
