He had a beautiful night with his partner. They made love, connected. They slept, body against body. It was hard to leave her side.

That morning, at work, the desire to call her was strong. To text her, to stay connected. He still felt her – touch, scent, and sensation.

And it felt… so good.  The ecstasy of connection was still with him.

He wanted to share how delicious it felt. A quick text. Or a phone call. Maybe even take the day off from work and keep the spell going.

Instead, he did something else. He didn’t contact her, hoping she’d reply imediately. He held his own energy. He came back to himself.

He took the delicious energy he felt with her and circulated it within himself. Inhaled it into his heart and chest cavity, as if opening up a love river. He breathed it all around.

Wow! He didn’t know it was possible to enjoy loving like that.

And then Lucy, a coworker, her arm resting on the lip of his cubicle wall, hovering above him, suddenly said, “What are you doing?”

He opened his eyes, pulled out of his spell. He felt embarrassed. He noticed an impulse toward defensiveness but then he relaxed.

He made eye contact with Lucy. And chose the spell again.

“Oh, just loving myself.” He smiled.

She shook her head, murmured “wierdo” and walked on.

His smile grew bigger. He chuckled inside. And closed his eyes, to swim in the tasty river again.

The expansion of connection from the night before swirled within him. And he was stunned that he could do this. And not care what Lucy thought.

He felt love growing within himself, co-created with his partner but savored within himself.

He felt bigger. No need to text or call, seeking affirmation. Instead, he relished the thought of connecting with her later.

Knowing he was the source of love and she was the stream, a tributary of the love flowing back into himself.

Containment – a powerful practice in relationship. That’s what he had done, not even knowing it.

He held space from her, enabling the desire for connection to grow again. He did not cling or seek her to complete him. He was already complete.

How do we attach in relationship? Does it serve us? And yet it seems so natural. Consider otherwise.

Send the text? Make the call? Sure, but first contain.

Relationship Warrior, you got this!

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Inspired by a true story from an anonymous client.