It’s one of the toughest things we can do.

In 15 years of coaching men in relationship, I’ve seen how it’s key to a man to take charge of his marriage.

It cuts to the heart of answering the question.

How do I fix my marriage?

To do so, you must see your blind spot.

Without doing so, you fall into the rabbit hole of judgment, shame, and staying stuck.

If you ever have any of these thoughts, you’re in that rabbit hole.

She’s crazy.

She blames me for everything.

I can’t be enough for her.

Paradoxically, the rabbit hole can be comfortable – a hiding spot – that is until you’re sick and tired of being stuck.

What rabbit hole do you fall into in your marriage?

Some guys cope while doing nothing and say, “My marriage sucks and it’s not fixable.”

Other guys say, “I don’t know if it’s fixable or not, but regardless I’m committed to becoming a better me in relationship.”

Which man are you?

Implied in the development of a “better me” is the quest for more aliveness, confidence, and self-worth, in service to your marriage, family and kids.

This is the guy who knows the work of fixing his marriage begins with himself.

He’s done slogging through his days in a compromised marriage, dishing out or taking on blame and judgment.

He’s done staying stuck in the same old conflict patterns.

Doing so, he knows he merely placates the fears he’s avoiding. The fear of divorce, financial ruin, or losing his kids.

He wants to be bigger than his fears. Bigger than his blind spots.

What’s your blind spot in your marriage?

Your willingness to consider this question is a powerful step. It offers you great opportunity. And often also, a bitter pill to swallow.

That bitter pill is this. Like it or not, you’re responsible for co-creating the situation you’re in, regardless of how much you want to blame your partner.

And every day, consciously or not, you choose to stay stuck or unstuck in your marriage.

And let’s get clear, brother, this is not about self-blame or shame.

In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s about self-ownership into self-empowerment.

Your challenged marriage asks you to step into a bigger version of yourself, to get to a place of power and choice in your relationship.

Do you want to be empowered to create the marriage you want?

In the video below, discover one powerful tool to liberate you into a whole new up-leveling of your relationship.

A massive expansion occurs for a man in a moment.

The moment when he steps fully into self-responsibility for the life he’s created, for the energy he brings to his days, and for the marriage that he creates.

Are you ready to up-level who you are in relationship?

If so, shoot me a quick email to jump on a 15 minute call and see how 1:1 coaching may benefit you.

Or join me on the Men’s Relationship Tools weekly call on Tuesdays at 12pm ET, a couching roundtable for any man to get relationship support for only $47/month. Check it out anytime. First call is free.