The house of your marriage is on fire. You spin in the same conflict with your wife.

You hear the same words from her. “I can’t trust you. You don’t do what you say. I don’t feel like you’re on my team.”

It’s enough for a guy to lose hope in the future of his marriage. And even worse, lose hope in himself. His confidence can plummet.

Do you struggle to show up confidently in your marriage?

When it comes to relationship, a lot of men struggle to step into their confidence. They spin down the rabbit hole of their partner’s complaints and judgments.

They get frustrated. And to get through their days, they retreat, withdraw, check out.

Maybe you play internet poker, watch porn, drink, smoke pot, overwork, or some other coping mechanism.

It’s enough to make a guy wonder, what’s the point? It’s a low bar for relationship.

Do you have the desire to check out from your wife?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s human to want to avoid pain. And I’ve seen this pattern of checking out in hundreds of men I’ve coached during the last fifteen years.

The pattern I see is straightforward. In the guise of serve and protect, which is so wired in us guys, a twisted thing happens. Serve and protect becomes enable and enroll yourself to be the problem.

It’s a martyr thing. And we as guys take it on. Unconsciously, we think, “I can take it. I’m tough. I’m a man. That’s what you do for your kids.”

Do you martyr yourself to stay married?

If so, chances are you are taking on her character attacks, verbal insults, and thinking you have to fix her problems with you.

Again, this is unconscious stuff, meaning we don’t even know we’re doing it.

The end result is years and years of building a house of marriage that is a shit show. It’s draining. And you deserve better.

I want better for you. It’s why I do this work. It breaks my heart to see men betray themselves in relationship. I did it for years. I got a PhD living it.

But the good news is that with some commitment, action, and good guidance, you can reconfigure things. And get your confidence back online in your marriage.

What if you were confident with your wife?

That means the ability to be honest and truthful.

Not hold back what’s going on inside of you.

Self-advocate without fearing things backfiring on you.

And take leadership to go from a house on fire to a house of love and peace.

Do you want a loving, fulfilling marriage?

The problem is most guys try to create a loving marriage, just like they’d tackle a task at work.

They get in a mindset of if I do A then I will get B. If I don’t upset her, then maybe she’ll be more open to physical intimacy. If I listen to her problems, then maybe she’ll chill out.

But in this approach, something big is missing. A strong center of confidence and inner authority. And it’s from there that you’re truly in the command center of your relationship.

Check out this video to learn how you cultivate confidence and inner authority to create the marriage you want.

In the video above, I speak about fragmentation. When you’re chasing your tail to keep things together. It’s a confidence killer.

The opposite is self-unity, which is a confidence builder. Being calm, cool, and composed to create outcomes you may now see as impossible in your relationship.

Confidence is not a fantasy. It’s a real trait. And it takes some work. But it’s not a mystery. And every week, I help my clients map it out and make it a reality.

And this is all in service to the meaningful, fulfilling marriage that is ultimately at the source of a man’s well-being and happiness. No amount of work success or financial crushing it will substitute that. And that’s not to say you can’t have both.

Are you wanting to step into your confidence to create a fulfilling, meaningful marriage?

If so, take a simple first step. Shoot me a quick email. Let’s explore how you can step back into your confidence with your partner.

And every week, I teach men to cultivate confidence at Men’s Relationship Tools.

Check out what other men have to say.

“I had lost all hope in my marriage. Since joining the Men’s Relationship School, I’ve learned how to take charge of my marriage & not worry about screwing up with my wife. Instead, I go after what I want with her. I can’t say thanks enough.”
-Tom Wilson

“I learned more from you in one hour than I did from a coach I’ve been working with for several months.”
-Anonymous participant

Lastly, if you´re on the brink of divorce, email me at info@stuartmotola.com to learn about a personalized group coaching program for guys learning to do relationship ending amicably for the well-being of their kids & own mental and emotional health.