“My wife gets easily worked up about stuff,” says Robert, a software entrepreneur in his late forties.

“And I feel like I have to take it on. I’m that guy, you know, who fixes it.

“And to be honest, I’m tired of it. It seems like it never stops. Whether it’s about the kids, her work, my behavior. She’s freaking hysterical most of the time.”

Are you married to an overly emotional woman?

Like my client Robert, you can feel like you have to take on your wife’s problems and emotions. You know, you’re a good guy. You want to make things right.

And at the same time, you may think, I wish she’d just calm the F down.

It’s super hard when you feel like your wife gets worked up easily about stuff.

Whether it’s the kids not listening or a problem at their school or with friends. She can act like the world is collapsing around her.

Does your wife make a big deal out of little stuff?

At a loss for what to do, a lot of guys go into fixer mode.

Well, the problem is fixing doesn’t work well with her, as you may have noticed. It certainly did not work well for Robert.

And instead of enjoying his marriage with his wife, Robert felt like his marriage was just a royal pain in the ass.

Often, he felt split. Separated between a part of him that honestly didn’t want to deal with his wife and her drama anymore. And a part that wanted to be a loving husband, a good guy who could show up as best he could.

But nothing ever seemed to be enough for her.

Is nothing ever enough for your wife?

Let’s face it, it doesn’t help but we hear it often – women are just more emotional than men.

Great, you might say to yourself, I know that, but what the hell am I supposed to do with that information?

If you’re like me, you don’t just want information, you want action. You want to be able to help her to chill out. You want to get your marriage back.

It makes absolute sense that guys would want a calm, fluid marriage without drama. And like Robert, maybe you try to achieve that by stepping into the storm with your wife.

You want to be that good guy who shows up and is there for her.

What if you could show up with your wife in a way that re-energized your marriage and didn’t drain you?

If you want that, check out the video below to see what Robert did with some simple coaching and accountability.

You see, Robert was that guy who wanted the calm, not the storm, with his wife. But when she went into her normal upset, he took it all on.

Whether it was taking responsibility for stuff with the kids that he didn’t want to deal with or he didn’t even think was a problem in the first place. Or trying to coach his wife to have a better perspective on things. It all failed.

In the midst of it all, Robert experienced a whole range of emotions, and in the attempt to keep calm, he shot himself in the foot and made things worse.

Do you sometimes feel like your efforts to do good backfire on you?

To keep the calm, Robert shut down his emotions. So of course, he did a version of that with his wife.

And trying to fix her like she was a problem backfired on him. In fact, it made his wife resentful. And that got him even more jacked up.

Do you allow your wife to get you jacked up?

Paradoxically, doing so is a form of empathy. It’s unconscious. We think that if we can take things on, we are being a good guy. But it’s not what we ultimately want.

The truth is the best way to stay calm and confident is to stop putting yourself in front of the train wreck and instead, stand to the side of it.

Get a little bit of distance. So you can stay in your bold and calm center.

Do you want to be the force of calm in your marriage?

If so, let’s explore what’s possible for you. Shoot me a quick email.

And if you’re not ready to talk 1:1, check out the NEW Men’s Relationship School (formerly Men’s Relationship Tools) to learn how to…

• BE AN EMPOWERED MAN in a fulfilling relationship with an empowered woman.
• HAVE A STRONG BACKBONE with her to get respect and love.
• GET PAST YOUR FEARS of her freak outs and stay bold and calm in the heat of conflict.

Also included will be…

• BRIEF RECORDINGS OF WEEKLY CALLS to inspire you into “wise action” in your relationship.
• WEEKLY ACTION ITEMS to keep you accountable to create what you want with your partner.
• OPPORTUNITIES FOR PERSONAL CONNECTION with other men also seeking to get out of the relationship “suck zone.”

Can’t make the call? No problem. Join my men’s-only private Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship for inspiring daily relationship tips and action items.