Serve, protect, provide.

This is the mantra, conscious or not, that drives the behaviors of many married men.

Ultimately, most men want to make their wives happy. So in that effort, he’s willing to overlook a lot of challenging behaviors from her.

Do you seek to make your wife happy?

If so, that’s great. But ask yourself for a moment, can you really “make her happy?” And if so, at what cost? And do you abandon yourself in the process?

By abandoning yourself, I mean, you take on behaviors from your wife – yelling, complaining, criticizing, dumping, venting, withdrawing, retreating, or other – that could be considered abusive and you abandon yourself to that abuse.

And maybe you accept those behaviors because that’s what you think it means to be a good man. That’s what you think will create less conflict and make her happy.

Do you take on abusive behavior from your wife? And how would you know what’s abusive and what’s normal marital conflict?

Check out this video for a simple quick gauge to determine if your wife’s behavior is abusive and more importantly 3 things to do to change her behavior.

Inside of you, your gut, your heart, you feel and know abusive behavior. But you may be playing the tough guy and not be willing to admit it.

You’re a dude. You’re a strong man. You don’t have needs, right? Wrong. Of course, you have needs – for trust, emotional safety, and respect. We all do.

And it can feel vulnerable and super hard to admit that your needs aren’t being met and then speak those needs to your wife, the one who has her foot on your neck.

At the end of the day, all human behavior, abusive or not, is an attempt to get needs met.

And when you get clear on your unmet needs, you’ll be in a better position to see how your wife’s behavior is just a reflection of her unmet needs and how you can meet them.

Own your behaviors, kindly call her out on her behaviors, and create the marriage you want. She’ll feel safer with you and love you for it.

Are you ready to stop abuse and create the marriage you want?

Take the first step and let’s have a quick chat.

A guaranteed, powerful conversation to help you get the upper hand on your marriage. I’d be honored to hear from you.

And to be clear, talking with me is just an honest, real conversation between two guys. No sales pitch. To get started, shoot me a quick email.

And for the many women wanting to learn more about men, here is a special link for you women.

Lastly for the men who aren’t ready to talk 1:1 and still want to transform their marriage, check out the Men’s Relationship School. Your first visit is free.

It’s a great way to get to know me if you’re interested in coaching but not quite ready yet to shoot me an email.