Your blind spot. The place that you can’t see between your rearview and sideview mirror.

You check it when you can. But every once in a while, you get lazy. You go to make that lane change, without checking your blind spot…

And then BAM! You smash into something. And you realize, it was that damn blind spot.

What the hell does this have to do with my relationship?

Well, you have a blind spot in your relationship as well.

Consider this. You’re having a nice time with your wife, sharing a meal, maybe a glass of wine, you say something, and then BAM! She starts freaking out.

And you’re left wondering, how the hell did we get here again?

Why are we talking about the way I treated your mother from four years ago?

What the hell is really going on here, honey?

You may also be thinking, can’t we just forget about all that shit from four years ago?

Can’t we just love each other and move on?

But you don’t say that because you know that would just be like throwing fuel on the fire.

You know how she is. No, she can’t forget. She’s always rehashing the past. And then she gets personal. You’re A, B, or C. You don’t do this. You never…

And afterwards you realize you said something wrong. You got lazy. You got hit in your blind spot.

What was it? Could you even know if you were blind to it?

Regardless, since you’re a good guy, you listen. You try to take responsibility for what you said, for what set her off.

And so you listen and you listen, as she gets A, B, and/or C off her chest.

Eventually, you get lost. You lose her in her words. And you get frustrated because she’s not clear about what she wants you to do with all this stuff she’s telling you.

Have you ever struggled keep up with your wife’s words?

So, you sense you have a blind spot. Something you can’t see. Maybe, you think it’s a disfunction in your brain.

Well, relax, brother. Because she has a blind spot too.

But it may not JUST be a blind spot. It may be a heavy trip that you don’t want to deal with.

And truth be known, if she’s acting out, bullying you, freaking out a lot, or completely withdrawing, it’s likely that it is that something else. That heavy trip that hits you BAM!

And you’re left on the side of the road like roadkill, wondering…

What the hell was that? Why’d she freak? What’d I say?

You feel lost in the moment. Like that cliché clueless dude.

And that’s because what may be really going on is likely something you know little about.

Something nobody taught us about in school. Something that honestly can sound like psychobabble.

Because really, you just want to be happy, have a loving marriage, and have good sex now and then. Ok, maybe you want more? That’s cool.

So what is this heavy trip?

It’s often unresolved trauma.

What is unresolved trauma? How do you know if your partner has it? And what can you do about it?

In this video below, I answer all those questions.

The good news is trauma is treatable. It’s hard work but it can be done.

And to be very clear, I’m not a trauma specialist. I don’t treat it. But I have helped many men identify the condition in their partner to help them get the help they need.

When your wife has unresolved trauma, chances are she creates what I call traumatic reenactments, also known as “drama.”

On one side, it looks like – She freaks out, she blows up, she slams doors. Or on the flip side, she may just shut down and withdraw or retreat.

Does your wife blow up or go invisible on you?

If so, get educated about the signs of unresolved trauma and help her get help.

Chances are you may just be the trigger that gets her going off of old unresolved stuff. And that can suck.

To get things out in the open, start talking about them, that’s the key to freedom.

You may be in that space of misery right now, if your wife has unresolved trauma.

And most importantly, don’t go it alone. Connect with a bunch of guys talking about this stuff out in the open in my next Men’s Relationship Tools call this Tuesday at 9am MST.

And lastly, check out daily relationship tips and action items in my private men’s only Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.