The holidays can be a super-challenging time for a married guy or any man in relationship.

His wife’s over-spending on excessive gifts.

Trying to be “joyful” with her when you’re just not.

The sense of obligation to be on your best behavior for the kids.

It can all leave a guy dreading the holidays. Yet these are mere symptoms of a bigger problem a guy often misses.

The real source of a man’s dread is the sense that he has to behave his way through his wife’s holiday agenda. She does all the planning and we guys just go along with it all.

He struggles to assert his wants and needs, and to even know he has any wants and needs for the holidays.

What do you want this holiday season?

A lot of men say, I just want to be left alone. I just want some peace. I just want to watch the game on the sofa.

Great, do that. But don’t check out altogether from your family. That’s playing small.

Show up. Play big this holiday season. Take charge. Do the work of asking yourself, what would I really enjoy?

In the absence of that, the holidays can feel like a bunch of boring obligations. Instead, make it a special, fulfilling time of the year to love and connect with your family.

Do you want to enjoy the holidays this year?

If so, do this. Claim what you want for yourself and your family this holiday season.

Don’t just be a passenger on your partner’s holiday program. Take initiative, co-pilot, and assert yourself.

Yes, you can do this, even if you’ve followed your partner’s lead for 15 years. Even if she questions you. I know. That was my deal.

And being a co-creator means first, get clear on what you want for your holidays, then speak it to your partner, and then make clear agreements with her about what the holidays will look like.

That could be as simple as you saying, “I want to go for a hike or walk on Christmas or New Year’s Day.”

Or I want to sing karaoke to Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.”

Or I want to create time for all of us to speak what we’re grateful for.

What would your best holidays look like?

The default for most guys is to resign themselves to sitting on the sidelines and letting his partner take the lead. To not rock the boat.

But you know what that looks like – a lot of obligations. You can do better.

When I feared my wife rejecting my wants, I still went after them.

“Ok,” I said. “You guys don’t want to go for a walk on Christmas day. Well, I’m going to take an hour to go for a walk by myself.”

And super important, was to include the benefits to her of me getting what I wanted.

“And this will actually allow me to be more present with you and Jake (our son) and enjoy our time together,” I added.

No fights. Win-win.

If this sounds nuts to you, chances are it’s just what you need. Resistance has that way of showing us exactly what we need.

What’s possible for you this holiday season?

Let go of your resentments and embrace joy together this holiday season.

Don’t just be on your best behavior for the kids but actually love on one another.

Use the holidays as a time to reignite your relationship and become a new, bold, and confident man in your relationship for 2022 at The Men’s Relationship School.

• Learn simple strategies for the holidays to be cool & collected with your partner.
• Discover how not to trip up when she wants to break the bank this holiday season.
• Set yourself up to go into 2022 as a new assertive you in relationship.

For the next month, join The Men’s Relationship School for half price at $45 with the “checkitout” code.

Also included is a money-back, no-questions-asked refund if you’re not happy with the monthly program.

And another thing, did you know that statistically, divorce rates peak in January?

For those guys on the brink of divorce, a powerful small group of 4 men are learning to use divorce NOT as failure, NOT as self-destruction but as a HEALTHY & POWERFUL reconfiguration of their family and their selves.  Shoot me a quick email to learn more about this exclusive group.

And if you’re not ready for action and are still in the information-gathering stage, check out my free men’s-only private Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship for inspiring daily relationship tips and action items just for men.

Happy Holidays!