“She shuts down on me,” my client Rick says to me.

He’s not used to that. In his work as a tech CEO, he consistently has the attention and focus of others.

He’s used to his words being heard and people being open to him.

“Sometimes I can’t figure out what I did. Why’s she like that?”

Does your wife sometimes just close off to you?

“It’s very confusing,” Rick says. “It’s like I live in two alternate realities. One at home and one at work.”

I listen. He says more.

“She’s moody,” he says. “One day she’s a little open, another day completely closed off. I just can’t figure it out.”

He doesn’t know if it’s sustainable for him. But he has kids and a family and wants to keep it all intact.

Do you struggle to figure out what sets off your wife?

He says a cliché to me that tells me more about him than his wife, but I get it. I’ve felt it myself.

“Sometimes I think women are crazy,” he says. “Some of my friends say the same thing. Maybe guys shouldn’t be living with women 24/7.”

Do you ever feel like you and your wife are from different planets?

Today’s state of marriage and monogamy is in a more challenged position than ever.

One thing I say to Rick that I want to share with you is this.

Your wife has a different way of operating.

She feels distant when she doesn’t feel your heart or sensitivity of your care.

As much as you want her to be consistent and stay open to you, you may be expecting her to act like a dude – logical and consistent.

Yeah, it’s easy with your guy friends, you don’t have to go deep into emotional realms.

But with your wife – she’s all about emotions.

And emotions stem from her nervous system.

Are you attuned to your wife’s nervous system?

Consciously, it’s likely that you’re not. If you were, you’d be consistently aware of her safety.

Safety is the primary function of our nervous system.

When she’s not feeling safe, due to your behavior or the general state of the world, it’s your job as a man to see how you can help her with that.

This is called attunement.

In the video below, discover how your attunement to her nervous system will give you a roadmap to more peace and harmony in your relationship.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Relationship is a lot of work. It will bring up your stuff.

You have to be strong and committed to get through it.

Learn the skills to transform your relationship from a headache into a source of freedom and love.

Shoot me a quick email and let’s talk.