A man is struggling in his marriage. But he doesn’t know that there are options for him to improve things.

Options beyond HIDING OUT on his phone, ESCAPING through work, getting his physical needs met through porn, or RUNNING from reality into booze or pot.

In truth, he feels crappy about acting like this. He hides his behaviors from his kids and wife, and at times, has them out front and center.

DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?

“Daddy! Daddy!”

“Just a second, Sweetie, Daddy’s looking at something on his phone”.

“You’re always on your phone.”

IS THIS YOU?

I have a lot of empathy for this guy.  A LOT!

I was him. Screens weren’t my thing. But I sought escape in other ways. Regardless of the symptoms, the situation was the same.

It’s a man living what I call…  A DIVIDED LIFE. 

He wants to keep it all together for his family, for the kids, to be a GOOD MAN, to not be the ASSHOLE who wrecks his family… And yet he also wants to get away from her and her nagging!

If he feels at all, he feels anxiety, anger, and resignation but he can’t put a name on it.

And when she’s FED UP with his escapist behaviors (“It’s like being married to a zombie,” she says to her girlfriends.), only then does he seek help.

But the problem is THIS… he seeks help under her mandate and ultimatum.

And while he may go to a general therapist she recommends or one he finds on the web, eventually, he’s saying…

“I did what you asked me to do? Will you get off my back?”

And he’s at a loss at to why things are still the same. The problem is TWOFOLD.

ONE, he didn’t do it on his terms. (It was another form of placating her.)

AND TWO, a lot of therapy is just talking. Often, it’s disconnected from what really inspires him. And that’s RESULTS! Actual change.

You see, men want to know the PAYOFF up front. And while some therapy can be amazing, it’s often not results-oriented. It’s typically process-oriented.

Men need to know that if they work hard, they will get RESULTS. 

Talking a lot and doing little just reminds him of what he experiences with her.

So what’s his alternative?

It’s this… to get help on HIS OWN TERMS and NOT WAIT for her ultimatum.

To get help with someone who inspires him into ACTION, in a way that honor his commitments and will not blow up his life.

Guys, eventually she’s gonna be onto you. Too many men get hit with D Bomb.

Fact: College-educated women are initiating 90% of divorces. (American Sociological Association) 

ARE YOU THAT GUY WAITING FOR HER ULTIMATUM?

What if instead you took the bull by the horns? You said, “I want to take charge of my relationship and my life.”?

Don’t be like most men who wait to put on their seatbelt until they crash into a wall.

P.S. Check out how a recent client of mine took charge of his marriage and  brought it back from the dead.