A guy complains that his wife never wants to have sex. He’s a good guy who loves his wife a lot. He strives to be kind, considerate, and loving.

Is he doing something wrong?

“She’s just shut down. It’s hard to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex,” he says.

I relate. Years ago, in my marriage, I thought my wife didn’t like sex, but of course, it was sex with me that she didn’t like.

I see a lot of guys in long term relationships struggling with sex.

Why are so many guys coming up short when it comes to sex?

I recently asked a client the why question in reference to his sexless marriage.

He said, “I don’t know.”

“Well, what does she say?” I asked him.

“She says, I don’t listen. I don’t keep my word. I don’t follow through on things.”

I paused, as if cueing him to make the connection.

“Yeah, but I take care of the important stuff. Making sure she’s comfortable, the bills are paid, and the kids are taken care of.”

He wasn’t connecting the dots.

Is it possible that you’re unknowingly killing off your partner’s sex drive? 

For many men, the immediate answer is, Nuh uh, no way. It ain’t me, it’s her.

But wait a minute. What if there was a connection between your sexless relationship and your behavior? What if tweaking some of your actions got you more of what you wanted from her? Would you make a change?

If so, consider how you may be unknowingly killing off your partner’s sexual appetite. It’s the #1 Sex Killer that men do. And actually it’s something they don’t do.

It has to do with how men withhold their thoughts, opinions, and feelings and what a turn off that is for a woman.

But in all fairness, if you’re the guy throwing in the towel, resigning himself to a sexless relationship, it’s better not to watch this video elaborating on the dynamic described above. It will only frustrate the hell out of you.