Men, have you ever thought, if only she’d open to me, let me in, I’d be fine?  That’s often our story. If we’re not getting it, we feel unloved. (This one’s for the men out there; women may enjoy it as well.)

How might we reclaim that power we often give away? When sexual desire takes us over? When we mistake the physical for the heartfelt? Be it with our wife, partner, or a stranger on the street. The answer lies in the ensuing story.

Robert opens his arms. The woman’s head nestles in the crook of his neck. Her breasts press against his chest. He feels her embrace. Her warm body, a place to rest in.

A warm current flows through him. He breathes it in, from head to toe. A river of intimacy. A gale of life force. He revels in the connection, feeling all of her.

And she is an illusion, a mere passerby on the street. He imagines all this in a brief instant, as she walks by him.

Her golden hair dancing behind her. Jade eyes smiling. Slim body awakening his longing.

The narrative of she could complete me runs inside of him. And yet he knows nothing about her.

But he sees the illusion. He does not approach her or attempt to charm her. Nor does he judge himself a failure for not even trying.

Instead, he goes to the energy of longing. Sees it for what it is. A desire for union, connection, and affirmation. Something he can complete within himself. An immediate gift to expand his energy, rather than deplete him.

She is a blank screen he projects onto; he understands this. Through her, he would merely attempt to fill his loneliness, his not-enough-ness, his lack in life.

Instead of rotating his self-esteem around her, he does something else. He reclaims the energy of his projection. Does the hard work of feeling into his own inherent self-worth. He savors the glow she inspires within him.

She passes, he pauses, and sees in his mind, a Great Feminine within himself, of which the golden-haired woman is a mere subset. Only he can fill what he lacks. She cannot and never will. She can inspire him to be whole. And she does.

Maybe he could have something of great union with her. Not just a physical thing. But first he must be complete without her. A great irony.

In his longing, abundant desire is awoken. The glow of the feminine. A reflection of what he seeks within himself – warmth, kindness, and love.

He lays the heart-ground work for when and if she comes into his life some day.