Remember when you first fell in love?

The fireworks. Spark. Excitement. Sex. Chemistry. Compatibility.

That desire to be together all the time. The urge to merge. The yearning to lose yourself in one another. A beautiful sense of oneness.

The ultimate love. No secrets, no boundaries, no struggles.

You let her in fully. She let you in fully. You were one.

Have you ever felt like one with your partner?

Sure, it’s beautiful. But as you know, it doesn’t last long.

As you move into a long-term committed relationship, eventually you begin wondering, how come what I loved about her at first now annoys me?

In time, the desire to be together changes into the desire for space. You hit speed bumps, obstacles. You wonder, can we make it through this? Is it worth it?

And yet it’s in this moment where you get to see how much work you’re willing to put into your relationship.

But often, you’re only focused on the problems and how to eliminate them.

What if those problems brought you closer to your partner?

It’s possible but not without winning strategies. One of those strategies is counterintuitive for most men. It’s the opposite of what we do in the honeymoon phase of relationship.

And because we often don’t know that, we mistake it for something wrong. But nothing’s wrong. You’re human. And you have a new need post honeymoon. And that is the need for space.

Not just physical but emotional space. And ironically, space helps you feel closer to your partner. Distance to create closeness. Absence to make the heart fonder.

And so, to honor your need for emotional space, set healthy boundaries with your partner.  It’s much better than being irritable and annoyed with her all the time when all you really need is some space.

Healthy boundaries in a relationship allow for individuation and union. Healthy boundaries cultivate trust, respect, and the safety to just be you.

Do you set healthy boundaries with your partner?

Knowing how to set a healthy boundary helps you be more free with your partner. Free to be you. Free to ask for what you want. And free of enmeshment.

Think of it like this. The warrior sets the boundary so that the lover can be safe to love more freely.

In this two and a half minute video, I teach two kinds of boundaries to set in your relationship to experience more freedom with your partner.

Being your own man, your own person is part of who you are as a man. Don’t let your partner deprive you of that. Educate her.

Tell her, I’m here for you AND I need to take space at times so that I can love you better.

Do you struggle to be your own man with your partner? If so, shoot me a quick email today. Let’s explore what’s possible for you.

Not ready to talk? Join my next free & confidential Men’s Relationship Tools Zoom Call on Tuesdays at 9am MST.

And for daily relationship tips, check out my men’s-only Facebook Group Men Mastering Relationship.