“I don’t put the dishes away. “I don’t spend enough time with the kids. “She doesn’t feel like I’m on her team. “It’s endless. Sometimes I wonder why she even stays married to me,” Jack says. Does your wife complain about you? “Why does she stay married to you? Have you asked her?” I say. Jack takes a deep breath. […]
Dave’s head is spinning. His wife just told him that she doesn’t feel like he’s on her team. “Baby,” he says, “I work 10 hours a day, I do everything I can for us to have a good life.” “Yes, that’s fine,” she says. “But I don’t feel like you love me.” “What did I do wrong?” He asks her. […]
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Ever heard the expression? If so, then you may understand like my client Mauricio did, that in relationship, the saying applies doubly so. Mauricio would get into an argument with his wife and then for hours afterward, he would beat himself up. He’d spiral into fear about how his wife would deprive him of […]
Recently, I emailed you a video called “The #1 Sex Killer.” It was about how you could be unknowingly killing off your partner’s sexual appetite. I spoke about how to stop that pattern. I also gave a tip on how to do the opposite — to become more attractive to her. But that didn’t sit too well with one guy. […]
New Years. Yeah, whatever. The older I get, the more “whatever” I can get with the new year and resolutions. That is, until I am reminded that it’s a chance to consider how I can up my game in my life and relationship. What would you like to create in your relationship in the new year? It’s not an easy […]
Eight years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
Every week I talk to guys with some version of this experience. I’ve been married to my wife for x number of years. I do A and she wants me to do B. I ask her what she wants of me and she says I should just know. After so many years together, I still don’t know what she wants […]
“This being human is a guest house” is the first line from a Rumi poem. The line means things happen in life and we get to decide if we flow with them or resist. It speaks to when you feel like things are happening TO you instead of FOR you. In your marriage, that might be the same old conflict […]
My client Simon was a top dog in the software industry. A founder and CEO of his own company. He prided himself on the outcomes he achieved in his business. A great workplace. A profitable bottom line for 12 quarters straight. A super relationship with an awesome board of directors. If only he could say the same thing at home […]
Shhh. I have a secret. It’s something nobody tells you about marriage. In fact, it’s something you should’ve known way before you even got married. It’s precisely because you don’t know this one thing that you may be in a marriage that drains you more than fulfills you. And it can put you in a position where you feel like […]
