You commit to one woman. She’s the one you will be with. She’s the one woman with whom you will have sex. You’ve committed to her in marriage or monogamy. And then, the door closes. Over time during your relationship, she closes the door behind the sex life you once shared. Has your partner closed the door on your sex […]
“She shuts down on me,” my client Rick says to me. He’s not used to that. In his work as a tech CEO, he consistently has the attention and focus of others. He’s used to his words being heard and people being open to him. “Sometimes I can’t figure out what I did. Why’s she like that?” Does your wife […]
Marriage. Relationship. Coupledom. Commitment to one partner. That person you can rely on forever. Sounds beautiful upfront. And yet, if you’ve been in a long-term marriage or relationship, it’s not that simple. That one person is also the one who will trigger the sh*t out of you, causing you to feel trapped at times; in fact, that’s their job. The […]
Every month, a man struggling in his marriage emails me with a simple question. How can I save my marriage? Maybe you’re asking yourself this question. Or you’re avoiding it. Or you’re not even sure if your marriage is worth saving. You might be saying things like… “She’s just not open to me.” “She doesn’t trust me.” “I know I […]
It started for Alex with an acknowledgment—an awareness that his pain wasn’t the enemy, but an opportunity. A doorway to creating a more fulfilling marriage and greater life. As a clean energy executive transforming the nation’s grid, Alex sought challenges as opportunities in his work. But he didn’t do the same at home. He’d lost trust with his wife. She […]
My client Tim, a 46-year-old software CEO, is crushing it at work. But he feels trapped at home.“With all my success, I kind of feel entitled,” he says. “What do you mean?” I ask. “Well…” He looks down for a moment before looking up again. “I mean, you know why I’m here. My marriage is failing. And even though it’s […]
You want it. You haven’t had it for a while. In fact, you’re hungry for it. Sometimes, you even feel like you’re at the mercy of it. You want it now. But you know you can’t demand it. You know that demanding will just make it more likely that you won’t get it. Besides, she’s an autonomous independent being. What […]
I remember many years ago, when I was first introduced to the teachings of Ken Wilber, transpersonal psychology writer. He said men on the evolutionary scale have two instincts. What are men’s two primary instincts historically? The first instinct for a man, he said, is to KILL IT. Kill, hunt, get the prey, conquer, win, feed the tribe. Today that […]
“She doesn’t love me anymore,” says my client Rick, a tech entrepreneur. “How do you know that?” I say. “We never have sex anymore,” he says Does lack of sex feel like lack of love to you as well? “Because she doesn’t have sex with you, you don’t feel loved?” I say. “Correct,” he says “Do you feel needy?” He […]
“She’s always got to have the last word.” “I can never win an argument with her.” “She’s got to be right.” Do these words describe your wife? In 15 years of coaching men, I’ve heard men say these things countless times. And let’s get real, brother, women say similar things about their men. But things I don’t hear women say […]
