“Is my marriage fixable?” Dave, a senior-level IT executive, asks me. He wants guidance. He wants reassurance. He’s a man who thrives with a plan. How do you know if your marriage can be fixed? Of course, no one has a crystal ball looking into the future. Still, having coached men in relationship for the last 15 years, there are […]
Nate has reached his breaking point. He’s fed up. He crushes it as a CEO of a tech company by day. But can’t control his wife. “Goddamnit she’s gonna give it to me. I’m sick of this crap.” Nate’s Scottish complexion goes red. “I hear your emotion, Nate,” I say. “But how would you feel if somebody were saying those […]
So, there’s this trap we guys often fall into. I call it the “fixer trap.” And when we’re in the fixer trap, we want to be “the guy.” You’re the guy who saves the day. The guy who makes things ok for her. The guy who is strong and capable for his partner. And the guy she needs us to […]
Make it right. Let her know you care. Show her you love her. Do you do these things in your marriage? Most guys do. It comes with great intention. But often, it’s done too late. And merely a response to having upset your wife in the first place. Maybe you didn’t listen to her properly. Maybe you forgot to make […]
Love is blind is a cliché. And yet there is some truth to it. Consider Zack. You may have hung out with him before. You know that guy who’s clearly getting beat up by his wife (she yells at him, gets hysterical, complains about him nonstop) yet he still blames himself for all their marital problems? “If only I could… […]
You want it. You want it bad. Real bad. The desire takes you over. It’s bigger and stronger than you. And when you’re in the vortex of desire, you may not know you’re in it. A client recently said this regarding his experience of desiring sex with his wife. Do you experience sex-hunger with your wife? When we look deeper […]
“Crushing,” my client Tommy, a CTO at a software company, said. “It’s crushing when my wife’s upset at me. I love her and want to be a good man for her.” And then the dagger came. “I can’t be OK when she’s not OK.” Do you struggle being OK when your partner’s not OK? The dagger was in his words, […]
Tim, a high profile lawyer, is touted by his team for his communication skills in the court room. He’s a master orator who wins many cases. Yet at home, he falls on his face, often at a loss for words, explicitly when his wife says all he cares about is sex. “Yeah, you work all day, then expect to use […]
Jake’s a big-shot engineer. An engineer who travels the country and lectures internationally. The rock star of engineers who trains other big-shot engineers. He’s brilliant. But like so many other successful men I speak with, his marriage is falling apart. Jake can’t reconcile himself to his own failure at home. He loves his kids, but he refuses to fully acknowledge […]
Below is a letter a married man struggling with “not enoughness” sent to his wife recently, inspired by a video of mine. Dear Cindy*, There is something that has been weighing on my heart that I want to share with you. I often find myself grappling with the feeling that I’m not enough for you. Yes, it relates to our […]
