She talks. I listen. She talks some more. I listen some more. On a good day, her words are about someone or something else and I can help her figure things out. On a bad day, her words are about me and what I don’t do right and what I do wrong. I want to do better but after a […]
Serve, protect, provide. This is the mantra, conscious or not, that drives the behaviors of many married men. Ultimately, most men want to make their wives happy. So in that effort, he’s willing to overlook a lot of challenging behaviors from her. Do you seek to make your wife happy? If so, that’s great. But ask yourself for a moment, […]
A guy wants sex. His wife doesn’t. He asks himself, “What’s the point of being married if I can’t have sex with my own wife? Will it be like this forever?” He feels trapped. Have you ever felt trapped like this in a sexless relationship? I have. I even went to a sex addiction therapist at one point in my […]
New Years. Yeah, whatever. The older I get, the more “whatever” I can get with the new year and resolutions. That is until I am reminded that it’s a chance to consider how I can up my game in my life and relationship. What would you like to create in your relationship in the new year? It’s not an easy […]
Dave was a big-shot commercial developer. Multimillion-dollar deals and big financial risks. Yet at home, he was risk-averse, often crippled by the slightest rejection from his wife. In 15 years of coaching married men, I’ve seen this dynamic of financial success and marital failure in a man many times. But with Dave, it was extreme. His wife didn’t seem to […]
Let’s face it. We men want to make our woman happy. In that effort, many of us fall into a pattern. Ask yourself if this pattern applies to you. Your partner complains about your behavior or who you are. You get the message that you’re not enough for her. And you may even feel like you’ve failed her. You don’t […]
It’s a silent epidemic. Guys getting beat up in their marriages. Trounced emotionally and verbally. It happens behind closed doors. Of course, it does. It doesn’t fit the politically correct public narrative of men as perpetrators, so it stays under the lid. Are you getting beat up in your marriage? It’s also concealed because guys want it that way. As […]
Jake’s a big-shot engineer. An engineer who travels the country and lectures internationally. The rock star of engineers who trains other big-shot engineers. He’s brilliant. But like so many other successful men I speak with, his marriage is falling apart. Jake can’t reconcile himself to his own failure at home. He loves his kids but he refuses to fully acknowledge […]
Tony’s been married for 12 years. He’s lost his identity in his relationship. “Some days, I just want to hit the eject button. To just get out of this mess I’m in.” Tony doesn’t understand how he’s landed at the age of 46 into a functional life – work, pay the bills, take care of the kids – and a […]
This is firsthand. I’ve been there. The brutal nature of feeling like the one person – your wife or partner – to whom you’ve limited your sexuality has closed the door on that part of your life. She’s no longer interested in sex. She says she can’t be physically intimate if she doesn’t first feel emotionally connected. Or she just […]
