Fear. It shows up often in relationship. I hear a lot of men saying things like… I fear her anger. Or, I fear I’ll never be enough for her. I also hear, I fear she’ll never want to have sex again. I fear that if I try to talk about it, she’s gonna blow up at me. Do you have […]
This is firsthand. I’ve been there. The brutal nature of feeling like the one person – your wife or partner – to whom you’ve limited your sexuality has closed the door on that part of your life. She’s no longer interested in sex. She says she can’t be physically intimate if she doesn’t first feel emotionally connected. Or she just […]
Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Ever heard the expression? If so, then you may understand like my client Mauricio did, that in relationship, the saying applies doubly so. Mauricio would get into an argument with his wife and then for hours afterward, he would beat himself up. He’d spiral into fear about how his wife would deprive him of […]
My wife said A. I said B. We got into a fight. I got angry. I said some things I wasn’t proud of. We went to sleep that night on opposite sides of the bed. The next morning, I felt like a scared kid, afraid of even saying hello to her. Would she bark at me, ignore me, or something […]
Fear. An emotion that goes underground for most men at a young age. It happened to me when I was just 5 years old. It was then that I first learned fear wasn’t okay for a boy. I remember my older brother, who was eight at the time, said to me, “What are you afraid of, you little baby? Little […]
Sex and marriage. They can feel like oil and water. Two separate entities skimming the surface of one another. I hear men often say things like… Sex is the last thing on my wife’s mind. She’s physically shut down. She’s just so busy. I’m at the bottom of her list. Hey man, I know this great massage parlor. A lack […]
“My wife always has to be right.” “She doesn’t respect my opinion.” “My wife always gets the last word in.” These are the exact words I heard from multiple men in the last few months. If you can relate to any of these statements, it’s likely you’re with a strong-spoken woman. Do you feel as if your wife has to […]
In marriage and relationship, at a certain point, things flatline. It’s inevitable. It is not cynical. It’s just how it is. At a certain point, we get so safe in the relationship that we stop aspiring towards what lights us up. And often we can’t put our finger on when that happened. Then one day, we live into a future […]
In my 20 year marriage, I had a few holidays where my wife and I were just not in a good way. We weren’t talking much. We were functional or barely dealing with one another. I was wondering if we should stay together or not. And then there was this pressure to get gifts and show up “happy” for her […]
The holidays can be a super-challenging time for a married guy or any man in relationship. His wife’s over-spending on excessive gifts. Trying to be “joyful” with her when you’re just not. The sense of obligation to be on your best behavior for the kids. It can all leave a guy dreading the holidays. Yet these are mere symptoms of […]
