Ten years ago, I was 44 years old, married 17 years, with a 15-year-old son. I’d been through many death and life cycles in my marriage. I was about to go through another one. My wife and I were in the kitchen, talking about what we should get my son for Christmas. She asked for my opinion. I brought my […]
Many years into my marriage, my sex drive was 10 times my wife’s. I wondered if I was a sex addict. So, to find out, I went to a therapist specializing in sex addiction. After an hour, he said, “No, you’re not a sex addict. You’re just a regular dude with a healthy sex drive.” I saw him, motivated by […]
Maybe you’ve had this experience. You met your wife. You fell in love. And then somewhere during the course of your marriage, she turned sour on you. You no longer experience openness from her. She’s not as chill or go with the flow as she used to be. She doesn’t appreciate you the way she once did. She even outright […]
Nate has reached his breaking point. He’s fed up. He crushes it as a CEO of a tech company by day. But can’t control his wife. “Goddamnit she’s gonna give it to me. I’m sick of this crap.” Nate’s Scottish complexion goes red. “I hear your emotion, Nate,” I say. “But how would you feel if somebody were saying those […]
So, there’s this trap we guys often fall into. I call it the “fixer trap.” And when we’re in the fixer trap, we want to be “the guy.” You’re the guy who saves the day. The guy who makes things ok for her. The guy who is strong and capable for his partner. And the guy she needs us to […]
Make it right. Let her know you care. Show her you love her. Do you do these things in your marriage? Most guys do. It comes with great intention. But often, it’s done too late. And merely a response to having upset your wife in the first place. Maybe you didn’t listen to her properly. Maybe you forgot to make […]
Love is blind is a cliché. And yet there is some truth to it. Consider Zack. You may have hung out with him before. You know that guy who’s clearly getting beat up by his wife (she yells at him, gets hysterical, complains about him nonstop) yet he still blames himself for all their marital problems? “If only I could… […]
You want it. You want it bad. Real bad. The desire takes you over. It’s bigger and stronger than you. And when you’re in the vortex of desire, you may not know you’re in it. A client recently said this regarding his experience of desiring sex with his wife. Do you experience sex-hunger with your wife? When we look deeper […]
“Crushing,” my client Tommy, a CTO at a software company, said. “It’s crushing when my wife’s upset at me. I love her and want to be a good man for her.” And then the dagger came. “I can’t be OK when she’s not OK.” Do you struggle being OK when your partner’s not OK? The dagger was in his words, […]
Death revive my relationship? Say what? Ok, man, tell me about that. Yes, I know it sounds crazy. When I say death, I’m not talking about actual physical death. I mean the death that brings laser-sharp clarity to what needs to die in your relationship. What behaviors need to die in your relationship? Here are a few I’ve seen my […]
