Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Ever heard the expression? If so, then you may understand like my client Mauricio did, that in relationship, the saying applies doubly so. Mauricio would get into an argument with his wife and then for hours afterward, he would beat himself up. He’d spiral into fear about how his wife would deprive him of […]
Most of us have our own version of this story. Do you? You met your wife x number of years ago. At first, it was great. Sweet connection. Wonderful sex. The urge to merge. You got engaged and then married. And then you had a family and things changed over time. You were no longer each other’s priority. Kids came. […]
She says, I’m not enough for her. She says, I don’t listen. And she says, I’m not present. Any guy knows that his wife is a master at picking apart who he is and what he doesn’t do. So much so, unlike anyone else in his life, that it’s her superpower or maybe better said, her shadow power. And while […]
Your wife is not happy. Her job is frustrating as heck. The kids aren’t listening to her. And you’re not enough for her. Just hearing all this makes my stomach cringe. To be married to a woman laden with problems is overwhelming for a guy. Often his natural response is to take on the burden of her unhappiness and compound […]
“I want her to be happy. But man, she has no idea the value of a dollar. She blows ten bucks on gourmet cookies and doesn’t even eat them,” my client Todd said. Sounds like the words of a guy who is financially stressed. Anyone who’s been married a while can tell you that arguments about money and marriage go […]
Dave was a big-shot commercial developer. Multimillion-dollar deals and big financial risks. Yet at home, he was risk-averse, often crippled by the slightest rejection from his wife. In 15 years of coaching married men, I’ve seen this dynamic of financial success and marital failure in a man many times. But with Dave, it was extreme. His wife didn’t seem to […]
“You don’t hear me.” “Why don’t you take me seriously?” “You don’t listen.” Does your wife say any of these things to you? It’s not uncommon for a guy to hear something similar from his wife. And there’s a good reason why. As men, we often struggle to keep up with our partner’s words. We feel like she’s verbose and […]
For many married men, an unconscious thing happens over the years. It happened to me in my marriage. You work hard in your career. You try to be good to your kids. But over time, you and your wife drift apart. And in time, you lose her. You essentially become roommates. Do you feel like roommates with your wife? No […]
Jason’s a good guy. He’s a successful account executive. He loves his wife. And yet his wife says a lot of mean things to him. She’s often irritated with him. She’s shut the door on him emotionally and sexually. In a nutshell, she bullies him. Does your partner bully you? More and more, I’m hearing from men who feel beaten […]
Freedom. It’s one of the greatest values we men cherish and hold. Be it the freedom to do what we want. Believe what we want. Or just live our lives as we please. And yet often at a young age, in our 20s or 30s, we do something that goes counter to maintaining our freedom. We get married. Yes, you […]
