Let’s say you have relationship problems. Where’s the first place you might turn? Likely, it’s a therapist. That makes sense. There are lots of therapists out there. A dude assumes he’s got stuff to work out. But when it comes to fixing his relationship problems, therapy often falls short for most men. Why do guys often struggle in therapy? In short, […]
A guy complains that his wife never wants to have sex. He’s a good guy who loves his wife a lot. He strives to be kind, considerate, and loving. Is he doing something wrong? “She’s just shut down. It’s hard to be with a woman who doesn’t like sex,” he says. I relate. Years ago, in my marriage, I thought my […]
A man is struggling in his marriage. But he doesn’t know that there are options for him to improve things. Options beyond HIDING OUT on his phone, ESCAPING through work, getting his physical needs met through porn, or RUNNING from reality into booze or pot. In truth, he feels crappy about acting like this. He hides his behaviors from his kids and wife, and at times, has them out […]
At least several times per month I hear a version of this from guys who contact me. “She’s always bossing me around. It’s constant,” Bill, a father of two, says. “She tells me, ‘You never listen to me. You didn’t do this. You didn’t do that. And what about that other thing I asked you to do?’” Do YOU EVER feel like you’re […]
Sol was an account executive with a broadband company. He worked his ass off at work. You know, the whole “climb the ladder” thing. But even better for him, he loved what he did. Much of his work served the developed world. A mission he believed in. At home, it was good and all but… there’s always a but. Anyway, he came to me […]
Social distancing? Or sexual distancing? For many couples, it’s been one in the same. You might be in the same physical space. But are you in the same relational or sexual space? Are you seeing one another? Working as a team? Helping one another get through this COVID madness all the better for it? If you are, you’re likely having more […]
In these coronavirus times, I’m seeing some remarkable things. Men are getting real, vulnerable, removing their masks and exposing their fears on a mass cultural level like never before. I don’t ever recall New York Times columnist David Brooks speak so intimately. Would you be willing to describe how the coronavirus is affecting your mental health? Is the combination of isolation […]
When men approach the threshold of marital change, be it considering separation, divorce, or reinvention, I immediately acknowledge the immensity of where they are. That place of big change, the cracking open of new life. They often do not see it. How could they? It is not in our cultural language. I emphasize the importance of taking it slowly, one step at […]
A man knows he has to get out of his marriage, change it, do something. And yet he does nothing; fear cripples him. Is this man you? This man is divided. He fears the fallout of change but knows he must make change. He works with me. We go deep into his fears. We create a path forward in which he can honor […]
“This is a man’s world,” James Brown sang 54 years ago in his iconic 1966 ballad, “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World.” That’s right. The Godfather of Soul. This is a man’s world, this is a man’s world But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl. Brown goes on about the inventions man made, from cars […]
