Every week I talk to guys with some version of this experience. I’ve been married to my wife for x number of years. I do A and she wants me to do B. I ask her what she wants of me and she says I should just know. After so many years together, I still don’t know what she wants […]
Marriage – years in, we often wonder, how did I get here? Who is this person I married? If we go back, we remember. In the beginning, there was attraction. Great conversation. Physical intimacy. And a desire to be together a lot. Then came the let’s commit phase. The desire to be monogamous. To spend even more time together. And […]
“You don’t do this right. You don’t do that right. You’re always working!” My client Jack raises his hands like claws at his skull. The complaints come at him constantly. It feels like an endless barrage. He works full time as the CEO of a successful company. And he’s still not doing enough. Is your wife always complaining? Jack’s wife […]
John was at the ledge. He’d been trapped in a “one down” dynamic with his wife for years. Nothing he could say or do was ever good enough for her. She seemed totally shut down to him. He missed the woman he first met, who had opened to him like a lotus flower. He was confused as to what to […]
Sex. It’s often a big lack in a man’s life. Especially if he’s been married for many years. Is sex missing in your relationship? You may have reached a point where you’ve thrown in the towel on your sex life. It may not even be something you think much about anymore with your partner. Well, ok, you think about it. […]
My wife is sexually shut down; I hear these words often from men. After many years in marriage, other priorities have taken over. Sex is last on her list. And that’s frustrating as hell. Are you asking yourself… Why won’t my wife have sex with me? You may know the reasons. She’s exhausted with work, the kids, and home. But […]
“Are you crazy? Ask her for sex?” my client Tom asked me. “She’ll freak out on me.” I had just encouraged Tom to ask his wife for what he wanted from her. In his own words, that was sex. Simple enough. “How is avoiding it serving you?” I said to him. He thought about it. Like many men I coach, […]
Marriage is a sacrifice. I hear this often. Do you believe that? Before you answer, consider the definition of sacrifice. “An act of slaughtering an animal or person or surrendering a possession as an offering to God or to a divine or supernatural figure.” Ok, maybe you’re not actually slaughtering an animal, but… Are you slaughtering yourself for a divine ideal? Most […]
Well, we’re in the homestretch of the election season now. And typically, the word “homestretch” has a sense of comfort to it. We’ve done the hard work. And now we can relax. And yet when it comes to the election, it’s quite the opposite. We’re in the homestretch of all the craziness but there’s generally not a very relaxed mood […]
“She’s always coming at me with a charge. It’s like I have to take on her anger just to stay married to her.” James pauses and looks away for a moment. “Half of the time I’m not even sure what she’s angry about.” He throws his hands up in frustration. “The other day, she barked at me because I didn’t secure […]
