Withholds — it’s not a word often spoken between couples. And yet withholds are everywhere in relationship. Maybe you don’t speak a hard truth to your partner. Or maybe you don’t ask for what you need. Or maybe you don’t put the work you want to into your primary relationship (i.e. look at yourself, repair conflict, etc) These are withholds — places where you keep […]
The Ideal Relationship — What’s it look like? Have you ever been in one? When I’ve asked clients, they’ve said things like: We’re deeply connected. We stay open to one another. We never fight. Notice the last statement. Do you know couples who never fight? Anyone come to mind? Likely not. How about we change that last statement to “we navigate […]
Conflict in relationship – it sucks. You know how it goes. She says this. He says that. She gets angry. He gets pissed. Something hurtful is said somewhere along the way. Both of you are triggered and feel really unsafe. Two individuals, supposedly together, spin down separate rabbit holes. Thoughts fly off the handle. Do I have a future with […]
First, thanks to those who reached out to me last week. I shared a vulnerable post and an outpouring of support, trust, and connection came my way. A few people asked me, “Are you ok? I am here for you.” Others said, “Thanks for sharing. This really helped me during a hard time.” And some said, “You’re really brave.” It touched […]
You’re a man. Or maybe you’re a woman. Or you’re non-binary. It doesn’t matter. You’re human. You do this thing – we all do – but nobody talks about it. And it’s the #1 way we screw up our relationships. Why doesn’t anyone talk about it? Well, it would likely be SEEN as bad news. We, humans, prefer good news […]
“I want more from you,” she says. He listens, scanning stock prices on his phone. “Did you hear me?” she says. “I’m listening. I’m listening,” he says. “Can I have five minutes without the phone?” “What! What’s going on?” He can tell he’s failed her in some way. He continues scanning his phone. “Is now a good time to talk?” […]
“With you, I see me. A me I only see with you,” he says to her. She says nothing. Her green eyes meet his hazel. “Are you happy to hear that? Or is it a burden to you?” he says. Still, she says nothing. Merely holds his gaze. He likes that she does not respond. Do I say this because […]
She touches me like I’m superman. But I don’t want to be superman. And yet I feel like him in her presence. “I hit the jackpot with you, baby,” she says. She says big things like this to me often. “I just want you to be you!” Bam! That’s what I want – to be me. Before I really knew her, […]
“Who would I be if I wasn’t hustling to make some other person, real or imagined, fall in love with me?”* See me. Hear me. Show me that I matter. Touch me. Feel me. Tell me that I am not invisible. Hold me. Make me safe. Don’t let me go. I will use all my charms to woo you. My […]
Christmas. How will you spend it this year? Will you wake up, greeted by family? Or maybe you’ll be alone? Maybe you don’t even celebrate it. Regardless, it’s a time of year when we often take stock of our relationships. With a spouse or partner, we may become aware of how we are in connection or not. How things have […]
