There’s this dynamic I see often between couples. She nags. He gets angry. She feels like she’s with a child. He feels like he’s with his mother. She doesn’t trust him with little things. He placates her by doing what he can. She wants him to be more responsive. He wants to run. And in the space between, they lose […]
“How do I know when I’m trying to fix him?” she asks. Maria often forwards her husband relationship blogs, like the one you’re reading now. She’s admitted to it – trying to fix him. She knows it’s a problem. Yet she still does it. Men do it as well. I used to be a fixer. But it’s more common with […]
The fighting man or feeling man. In my last post, I spoke about both. But I did not speak about another kind of man – the Fixer. He shuts off feeling by trying to fix. He’s the solutions guy. He’s super logical. And yet often a woman feels empty with him, wondering, where’s his heart? When she talks about how she’s […]
The party was full on. Strobe lights flashing, Bruno Mars blasting in a friend’s basement. A group of us were getting down, joyful and sweaty. During a break in songs, I headed upstairs. As I climbed the last stair, out of nowhere, a woman’s club-like palm smashed my face. “Fuck You! Who do you think you are…?” Her skewed vowels revealed […]
“She’s amazing. I feel so alive when I’m with her. And the sex is great,” he says. Someone listening might think, That’s great. So what’s the problem? But I know Johnathan’s story. He was married for many years. He fears giving himself away like he did with his ex-wife. He wants to be in a relationship but he fears how […]
Written for men… with value for women. I sit. And sit. And sit some more. All weekend. Sitting. I’m at Buddhist boot camp. A silent Zen meditation retreat. There are fourteen of us in the room. We move like one entity. We chant together. We sit together. We bow together. We eat together. And yet not a word is spoken. […]
Ladies, the number one way to make your man happy is… well, you know…. Give it to him. Lots of it. And often. Number two is…. Wait a minute. STOP! What was number one? Give him lots of what? Well, uh, you know, sex. Are you serious? Do you think I’m a candy store? Open my legs to make you happy? […]
She looks over him at the kitchen table. He is home after a long day at work, eating a snack, reading a text on his phone. She says something, then something else. He’s not sure what. Her tone says all he needs to know. Oh shit. Now what? He thinks. He looks up from his phone, reluctantly. All he wants is […]
You love her. You care for her. And… you fear losing her. You fear losing her precisely because… … you love her. … and you care for her. Whatever the reasons are, one thing is clear. You’re not free, in fear. No man is. And typically you don’t even know that you’re not free. But you feel it. Through an […]
Note: These tips apply to women, as well, taught from childhood to be the “nice girl.” If that’s you, flip she to he, her to him. This blog is a continuation from last week. Last week’s gist was… “Nice guy” behavior has its roots in momma-pleasing behavior from childhood. And as a result, she resents you for it. – So […]
